Between the Lines
by JoMarchWrites
Summary: From the very beginning, they had something powerful. Something miraculous. Unable to deny or fight any longer, they let it consume them and vow to live with the consequences. After the cases close, after the grit and grime have been washed away, they're left with what is written between the lines: the truth. (Strong M. EO pairing. Follow-ups to episodes, but with a twist.)
1. Chapter 1

_**Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction.**_

Payback.

"I know what you were thinking," he told her, his blue eyes glimmering as the moonlight hit them through the window. He wriggled around for a moment, finding a comfortable position on the lumpy couch.

She shook her head at him, incredulously. "You have no idea...you couldn't possibly know what was going through my head." She sipped her coffee, its scalding heat not affecting her at all. She pressed her lips together as she swallowed, her head falling back against the back of the sofa.

He leaned forward and placed his coffee mug on the wooden table, noticing, as if for the first time, the rings and scratches in the wood and fading stain. He made a mental note to refinish it the next time he had a day off. He sighed, placed his hands at he back of his head, and settled deeper into the divot in the cushions. "Yeah, Liv," he breathed. "I do."

"All right," she said with a scoff. "Enlighten me, Kreskin."

He laughed at her but then sobered. "You would have done the same thing. If you had found the man who..." he paused, knowing it was sore subject, one that brought up a lot of anger and repressed memories. "You would have killed him. And you wouldn't be sorry about it."

She bit her lip and picked at her cuticles with her fingernails. "You have me pegged, don't you?"

He nodded, serious, and he sat up a bit. "I know...we haven't been partners for...God, it's been almost a year, but I feel like..."

"Me, too, El," she interjected, knowing what he was about to explain. "It's fucking weird." She offered him a small laugh and a wink.

He gave a short guffaw with wide eyes and a heavy sigh, and he said, "You think it's weird for you? I'm the one losing my religion here," he chuckled and sat up fully, reaching again for his coffee.

"You don't really believe that, do you?" she asked, suddenly worried with a wave of guilt crashing to the shores of her heart. She eyed him as her fingers scraped along the the edges of her coffee cup.

He smiled at her. "No," he said. "You know I'm...my faith is a part of me, of who I am, but I also know...when something is right, when it's...necessary...that God wouldn't give that gift if he didn't want me to accept it. Does that make sense?"

She shrugged. "I guess." She moved her legs out of his lap and sat upright, put down her coffee, and turned to him. "Do you think...do you think I'm a horrible person? For...for thinking what those women did was...right?"

"No, honey," he said, assuring her. He looped an arm around her, letting his hand caress the round top of her left shoulder. "No, I...I think the bastard got what he deserved, but...they were guilty, they broke laws and they took a life. They had to...pay for it. We just had to be the unlucky pair that doled out the punishment." He let his head fall forward slightly, his lips kissing her right temple. He whispered something soft and sweet into her ear.

Her smile lit up her entire face, she nuzzled against his cheek and let her right hand fall to his left knee. She turned her face fully to look at him, and she whispered. "Yes. I know."

Without a word, he moved again, this time aiming his lips for hers. He cupped her face, his thumbs brushing over the apples of her cheeks as he swiped his tongue over hers, and then along the ridges of her teeth.

A moan escaped her, passing from her lips into his open mouth, catching at the back of his throat making him growl in response. From one kiss, she could feel every small spark of emotion filtering through him to her. Their connection lacked explanation, but it was long ago decided they did not need to explain themselves to anyone.

He pulled away, though it was reluctantly, and he took a shaky breath. "Wow, I can't..." he exhaled just as tremulously. "Shit," he laughed softly. "That almost, uh...became a lot more than I think we could handle tonight." He swiped the pads of his fingers along his forehead, trying to make sense of the jumbled mess of words in his head. "Damn," he spat, rolling his neck.

She licked her chapping lips, the numbness prickling in remembrance of his kiss. "El?" she questioned, tilting her head at him.

"We'll figure it out," he promised her with another small peck against her lips. He gazed across the couch at her, holding her in place with the sincerity in his eyes. He inhaled sharply as the moonlight washed over them again and hit the right side of her face an angle that made her look angelic. How could this be wrong, he wondered, if this Heavenly creature had been bestowed upon him. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and he smoothed his hands up and down her arms, still looking into her eyes.

He had a lot to think about, a family to protect and provide for, a wife with a horrible temper and vengeful streak who already decided that his late nights at work meant something unholy. It would take time, but the unspoken, unbreakable vow he had made to Olivia provided solace. They were each other's safe haven. No matter what happened in their lives, his marriage and her relationships, their jobs, friends...none of it would ever come between them, and they would always have each other, in any and every way they needed.

If anything solidified that iron clad contract, it was the last few days together. Work had taken a very critical toll on them, their recent case hitting a personal chord that soured upon execution. She was the first to break their binding gaze and she brushed her hair behind her ears. "You should go home."

He knew that whenever she said that, she was shutting down. "Not tonight," he retorted. He stood up, rising off the couch with a fierce but respectful look in his eyes. He held out his hand to her, and curled his fingers around hers as they fell into his open palm. He flinched at the coldness of her skin, but shrugged it off as he pulled her to her feet.

He led her to the bedroom, nudging the door open with his free hand, and he motioned for her to sit on the edge of the bed. He smiled at her, then turned and pulled on the handle of a dresser drawer. He tugged on the first bit of fabric he spotted, tossing it to her. "Do you want me to close my eyes?" he asked her playfully.

She rolled her eyes, grinning as she pulled the v-neck sweater she'd been wearing for close to eighteen hours. She tossed it to him and watched with a smirk as he shot it like a basketball into a wicker hamper in the far corner of the bedroom. She waited, the smile growing a bit more seductive than she'd intended, and when he turned to look at her, she held his attention as she unhooked and dropped her bra. She threw that toward him, laughing when he had been far too mesmerized to attempt to catch it.

"Fucking hell," he choked, unable to take his eyes off of the perfect form of his partner. He squeezed his eyes shut and gulped, and when he opened them he noticed she had pulled the tee shirt over her head. He watched her stand and shimmy out of her pants, spotting the bit of red silk swirled in with the black fabric. He felt his mouth go dry at the thought of her, naked from the waist down, pressed skin to skin with him all night long.

She licked her lips as she saw him move, his hands peeling the leather of his belt through the loops and she gasped when his pants fell with a whoosh. She scooted back as he moved toward her, and she chuckled as he pulled his tee shirt over his head.

In nothing but blue boxers, he unfurled the bedsheets and settled in with her wrapped in his arms. He sighed contentedly into the back of her head, and then kissed it softly. He pulled her tighter to him, fitting her body into his like a puzzle piece. He wound around her, and it wasn't until he exhaled that he felt her trembling in his arms. Soft sobs hit his ears and he pulled her tighter.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Never apologize to me," he whispered back, kissing the back of her head again. "I'm right here. I got you, and I'm not letting go. You never have to apologize for anything, especially not this."

She rolled over in his arms, sniffling and wiping her eyes on her pillowcase as she moved. "You knew," she surmised, "Didn't you?" She rubbed her nose against his. "That's why you stayed."

He kissed her lips and against rubbed noses with her, smiling softly. "Got me pegged," he said quietly. "Don't ya?"

She laughed softly, nodding.

He closed his eyes and kissed her again, enveloping him in strength and safety. He smiled as he drifted off to sleep with her heart beating against his, knowing he still had a few surprises in store for her, and hoping nothing would spoil them.

 _ **Reviews are always enjoyable**_

 _ **Peace and love**_

 _ **Jo**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction.**_

A Single Life

"You did what?" Olivia asked, stunned, a disbelieving smile on her face.

Elliot nodded, running his tongue along his teeth. "Go ahead, laugh," he said gruffly. "I only did it because I was...I left your place at four in the morning, went home, changed, and I was still picturing you...naked...that drugged look on your face you get after...I didn't notice the turtle in the sink," he shrugged and winked at her, then popped the cap off of the fresh bottle of beer the bartender had handed him. "His little face when he asked if I saw it..." he sighed.

"Well, we'll get him a new pet," she said, watching his fingers run along the side of the shimmering bottle. "Hey, the day hasn't been all bad. Sidarsky is getting what he deserves," she told him, knocking back a shot of liquor. The bartender, chuckling, refilled her small, clear glass. "Bastard actually thought he'd get away with everything he'd done." She shook her head and took the shot. She waved the glass at the barman again.

"We should introduce him to a couple of those little fish," he said, turning the bottle around in his hand. "Those, uh, spine- erector- penis- fish. What're they called?"

Olivia laughed. "Cadiru," she said, holding up her glass.

"Ya know," Elliot began, clinking his bottle against her shot glass and then taking a swing of beer from it, "The whole time...listening to people blast that woman's sex life..." he shook his head and took another sip from the brown bottle. "Got me thinking."

"About what?" Olivia questioned, a slightly worried lilt to her voice. She downed the shot of coffee-colored liquid she'd been holding and made a satisfied face.

He watched her swallow and slam the glass back onto the bar, in awe of how she could be the perfect balance of sweet as pie and tough as nails. "You," he said, pulling the shot glass away from her, cutting her off before she began to lose control.

She raised both eyebrows and looked offended. "Excuse me?"

He chuckled. "No, no, not..." he exhaled and chugged the rest of his beer. "I don't mean she reminded me of you, but...like...her list of bad relationships. Her fear of commitment stemming from a shitty childhood, the inability to really let anyone in..."

"I let you in," she countered, pointing a finger at him and then signaling the bartender for another glass, and another shot.

He licked his lips and leaned closer to her. "I know," he whispered. He let his hand fall to her knee, discreetly caressing her inner thigh. "That's what I was thinking about. That if she had found someone...someone that..."

"El," Olivia said, stopping him as she dropped her hand to his, linking their fingers. "Not everyone finds...someone..." she blinked before looking up to meet his eyes. "For a long time, I thought...I thought I was going to be one of the ones that never did. I gave up, El, resigned myself to living a perpetual 'single life.' But then I transferred into the unit, and you came along, turned my world upside-fucking-down, and, God, I know this isn't the perfect situation, and I know this isn't..."

"Real?" he guessed, his eyes narrowing. He moved even closer to her, a breath away from his lips being against her skin. "This has been real from the moment I met you, Benson." He shook his head and let his lips curl into a cocky grin. "Everything...with you...is more real than anything I have ever known in my..."

"You're married," she said, turning away from him and shooting down the freshly poured whiskey. "That's not real for you?"

"You want me to answer that honestly?" he queried, raising an eyebrow. His eyes darkened as he looked at her and he saw his intended subtext register in hers. "You, me, that's real, that's what matters, and, yeah, I admit, we fucked up pretty badly here, but it's gonna work out, I'm not losing you." He squeezed her hand. "If I ever for one second feel like I'm losing my grip on you, you know I'm gonna fight like hell to regain my hold."

She gave him a half-smile and nodded. "We should get outta here," she said, looking around. "It's starting to get crowded and it's after midnight."

"Yeah," he sighed, dejected. He got off of the round stool and shook his head in defeat as he dropped a few twenty dollar bills on the bar. Every time he tried to bring any sort of gravity to their conversations, or mentioned their future together, she turned away from him, changed the subject, and acted like he had no idea what he was talking about. He needed to find a way to prove how serious he was, fast.

He grabbed her hand and tugged her along, pulling her through the crowd toward the door. When they made it out into the New York night, they found themselves bathed in the glow of the bar's neon sign. He turned to look at her, her hand still in his. "You have to know, Liv, I..."

"Don't," she said gruffly, looking at him sternly. "Just...don't say anything like that until...until I can say it back."

"Why can't you do that now?" he asked, wrinkles forming in the middle of his forehead as he pulled her closer to him.

She let out a short breath through her nose and cleared her throat. "I don't want this to get out of hand, all right? You have a wife, kids...I've got a date tomorrow night...this...you and me...it's great, and it's...amazing and...yeah, it's stabilizing," she paused and her soft features took on a sharpness that scared Elliot. "But we're stuck here, until you make a few choices, until you decide you want more from this than what it is, or if you don't...and if you don't...El, I don't want to fall in love with you if I'm going to end up broken."

His face fell, his heart cracked, and he pulled her into the nearby alley. He sat on a stone stoop, dragged her down with him, and kissed her, hard. His hands squeezed the tops of her arms tightly, he probed around her mouth as if he was trying to connect their souls. He pulled away just as roughly as he'd crashed into her. "Tell me," he panted, "Tell me you didn't fucking feel what I just felt. If you can look me in the eyes and tell me you're not already in love with me, then we have been getting our signals crossed for..."

"Elliot," she cried, her eyes watering and her nose and chin prickling with the tingles that mean tears were on the way. "Don't do this. Please?" she wiped away an errant droplet from the corner of her right eye. "We can't, okay? Not yet. Not now." She took a trembling breath and dropped her head to his shoulder. "I want it, I do. You have to know that, but...as much as I need you, I need to be realistic, here." She blinked away the rest of the tears that never fully formed, and she took another shaky breath. "When I'm with you...I'm whole. I know I can't be with you all the time, and when I'm not...you go home to someone else, and I..."

"Have I?" he asked, taking his turn to interrupt. "Have I been going home to anyone else? I've been going home with you...to you...every night for the past week. And, I gotta be honest, Liv, it's the most..." he paused, licking his lips and rubbing his left hand down his face, deliberately. "My head has never been clearer, I wake up happy, I go to bed and, ya know, after the most incredible sex I've ever had in my life, I actually get some fucking sleep. You may not want to admit it, but this is what love feels like. It's a first for me, believe it or not. I loved Kathy, please don't think I didn't, but our time has come and gone, and we grew apart, and God damn it, Olivia, I am not going to give up the one thing that makes me fucking happy...the one person that makes me believe that I am on this earth for a Goddamned reason...because you're fucking afraid to do something that you have already done!"

She watched his mouth move, she heard the words and felt the way his body tightened and twisted the angrier he became, and her heart stopped when he finished yelling. She froze, staring, her brain crying out for her to say the words it had so carefully scripted for her. "Where's your ring?"

He looked at her, flabbergasted and confused. "I just...did you even hear a single fucking thing I said to you?" He blinked. "I..I said some...and all you focused on was..."

"Elliot," she said, stopping him, her voice cold. She stood up too fast for him to stop her. She looked down at him and watched his face fall. "Stabler, did you do...what I think you..." one hand shot over her racing heart and the other flew to her suddenly hot, clammy forehead. "Oh, my God," she shook her head as she repeated, "Oh, my God!"

"Breathe," he told her, rising. "Please, breathe, I just...things with Kathy haven't been great for a while, and what I have with you...I..." he cleared his throat. "I'm gonna talk to her tomorrow night, over dinner, tell her...I'm...I'm gaining a lot more than I'm losing, here." He reached for the hand that was splayed over her chest and he pulled it toward his. Watching her eyes, he flattened her palm over his heart, hoping she could feel that his pulse was rivaling hers in speed and power. "Feel that?"

She nodded.

"That's what you do to me," he told her in a whisper, taking a step closer to her. "I know exactly what this is gonna look like. To the people at work, our friends, Kathy's family...I know. I'm willing to risk that, if...if you'll..."he stopped and swallowed back hard.

She pulled her hand away from him, closing her eyes. "Your family," she said, shaking. "Your children. El, I...go home, okay? Tonight just..." she began to back away from him, and just before she turned to leave, she said, "Go home."

He watched, in pure fear and hopeful disbelief, as she turned the corner and left him alone in the dark alley beside the bar. He took a deep breath and rocked his hand along his jaw then swiped it over his forehead. He slumped a bit, but then stiffened. He knew what he had to do, not just for himself but for Olivia, and to salvage what would be left of his relationship with his children. He took the first step toward the sidewalk, and toward the repercussions of having an affair.

When he reached the end of the block, he felt lighter. He checked his watch, mumbled something to himself, and raised one hand to hail a cab as the other pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He dialed fast, hoping like hell it wasn't to late to make the call.

 _ **Reviews are always encouraging and enjoyable.**_

 _ **Peace and love**_

 _ **Jo**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction.**_

...Or Just Look Like One

Elliot yawned, the can of beer warming in his hands as he held in, without drinking. "We should talk," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He kicked the navy blue knapsack at his feet.

"If you can stay awake long enough," she replied. She'd been nervously pulling at her sweater and tried to make herself look busy by cleaning up around the apartment.

"Seriously," he said, clearing his throat. "Why do you think I'm here?"

"You did something that pissed off your wife," she answered with a crooked scowl. "What else is new?"

He laughed, finding absolute humor in what she'd just said. "Come off it, Liv," he scoffed, leaning back on the sofa and finally taking a sip of his lukewarm brew. "Speaking of Kathy," he sighed and dragged his bitten nails down his right cheek. "I took her to dinner, tonight," he spoke too fast, biting his lip, and he eyed her carefully waiting for a reaction, gauging her level of annoyance.

Her eyes flickered with something that could be construed as anguish or anger, and she bit down hard on the inside of her cheek. "Okay," she said, her nails combing through her short, dark locks. She dropped her gaze again and started tugging on her sleeves again. She looked away from him and dropped the stack of periodicals onto the coffee table and sat as far away from as she could get on the rather small couch.

He looked almost hurt by her distance, but in the back of his mind and the bottom of his heart, he knew they would end the night much closer. "Maureen...she...she's been having trouble," he began, his heart cracking at the mere mention of his daughter. "She hasn't been eating. She thinks...God, she thinks she's fat, can you believe that?"

"She's beautiful," Olivia told him, honestly, taking a change and looking at him. Her breath hitched and she dropped her eyes almost immediately. "Where would she..."

"Today," he said with a huff, "Man, those models, that whole...those girls went to such extreme measures to reach some unrealistic ideal." He let his head drop back against the sofa and made a noise that sounded like a non-verbal curse. "Fucking hell, drugs? Pills to keep you awake, pills to put you to sleep, pills to knock off a few pounds, pills to take away the hunger altogether," he made another growling noise as he righted himself again, and he looked at her. "Maureen scared me tonight, Liv. What if she..."

"She'd never do anything like that, El," she said, not allowing him to voice any grim thoughts about the teenager. "She's smarter than that."

"How do I know that?" He shook the thought from his mind. "Those bastards we met today, they make a million dollars a day, playing to peoples' insecurities, drawing them in, and they don't give a fuck what happens as a result. They lure people in, and God damn it, Liv, my daughter fell right into the trap." He licked his lips and picked up his beer again, taking a long sip. He shook the can, judging the amount of alcohol left inside, and then crushed the aluminum in his bare hands. "Part of me thinks she's just trying to get our attention, ya know? We haven't exactly been the epitome of a happy family lately." He looked at her and silently wished she'd look back at him instead of staring at the turned off television. "But some...some other part of me is terrified that she may have a real problem," he confessed to her.

There was a minute of pure silence, she could hear the low hum of the electricity running through the place. "I know where she's coming from," she said softly.

"Excuse me...what?" he choked, more worried now. He moved over a bit more and hesitantly reached for her hand. He felt her pull back when he grazed her knuckles, but he moved forward still and clutched her fingers in his. "Talk to me. When? I mean...why?"

She gave him a sidelong glance, cleared her throat and said, "In high school. I thought...I've always been a perfectionist, you know that."

"You're pretty damn close to perfect," he said to her, giving her a small, soft smile. He ran his thumb along the outer curve of her hand and felt her twitching in response. His smile grew into a smirk, taking pride in the way he affected her. "But that's not a reason to..." he trailed off, his unspoken words lingering in the air.

She sighed and turned fully toward him, relaxing a bit and curling her fingers around his. "Growing up, I thought...maybe my mother would love me if I was prettier, thinner," she said, her voice seeming to sound distant. "It became the one thing I had absolute power over. The one factor in my life that no one else could control. Not even her." She closed her eyes and suppressed the memories that were bubbling to the surface. She opened her eyes again and met his gaze, and she saw that, now, he looked to be in even more pain. She continued, "The more weight I lost, I just..." she paused and shrugged, "It didn't stop the abuse, or the hostility, so I thought, hey...maybe I should just disappear altogether." She blinked away the urge to cry. "That night I fought back, and I almost..." she stopped herself, "I realized she still had the control, the whole time, so I...I snapped out of it." She said the last words as if she was shrugging off the recollection of a bad dream.

He gave her hand a hard squeeze, and then using his other hand, he caressed the left side of her face. "You never knew how beautiful were," he whispered to her. "You still don't. Inside and out, Liv, you're the most beautiful person I have ever met." He saw her blush and he flashed a sincere smile. "It's true. I'm not just saying..."

"I know," she said, cutting him off. "I can tell when you mean what you say, El. I know when you're telling the truth." She looked at him sharply, then. "And when you're lying." She eyed him for a moment longer, watching him bite his lip anxiously. "And now you want me to talk to her," she assumed, finally looking right into his worried eyes. "Is that it?"

He stared at her, still taking in her almost tragic beauty. He softened a bit, growing calmer the more he looked at her. "Maybe, if you...I know she'd tell you what was really bothering her before she confides in me or Kathy."

She turned away from him again and sighed, and then she nodded. "Yeah," she said. "Sure. Of course." She took a deep breath and she already regretted the question she was about to ask. "So...back to the beginning, here. You went out to eat with Kathy to, what, show Maureen you were challenging her, or...?

He didn't let her give him a second option. He spoke up, "The other night, you asked me...where my ring was..." he shrugged. "It's still gone, if you haven't noticed."

But she had noticed. She swallowed the large, rock-like lump that had managed to form in the back of her throat almost as soon as he mentioned the ring. Or lack thereof. "You didn't answer my question."

"Part of it, yeah, we knew Maureen would take the hint that we weren't playing whatever game she had in mind, if that's what it even was," he cleared his throat again. "But, uh, we also...needed to talk. Without the kids around." He felt his entire nervous system collapse and his hands began to tremble as he tried like hell to explain it to her. "We, uh, we talked about how we were going to tell them...that we're getting divorced."

Her head popped up and she looked confused. "What...um, what? But this morning, you told me..."

"I know what I told you," he interrupted. "And it was true. I have been getting along better with her. But it's only because the pressure is off. There's nothing to lose, now, we don't have to hold on for the sake of keeping up appearances. And we don't have to walk on eggshells around each other or the kids."

"Is that why you..." she stopped, hating herself for even attempting to bring it up. If he hadn't mentioned it in the last three days, then who was she to do it? She shook her head, silently telling him to never mind.

He, though, could always tell what she was thinking, and what her eyes told him. "Kissed you?" he questioned, finishing her thought for her. He watched her head turn toward him, and he looked into her eyes as she nodded slowly, her lip caught between her teeth. "It was half of the reason," he said with a chuckle. He tugged on her hand and was surprised that she didn't put up more of a fight as she slid closer to him. He rested his forehead against hers and let out a contented breath. "The other half...well, you know, don't you? Do I have to say it?" He shook his head back and forth slowly, rubbing his nose against hers. The small laugh that hit his ears was music to him, and he pulled her even closer.

"I thought we were just pretending it never happened," she admitted, no longer laughing. "I thought you wanted to..."

He pressed his lips to hers, silencing her. When he pulled away from her, he looked at her with such gravity it made her shiver. "I don't want to forget it," he breathed. "I want to live that moment over and over, Liv. I...that was the most earth shattering kiss I..."

"Yeah," she said, nodding, her head still pressed to his. She took a deep breath, as if gathering strength, and she sat up straight and exhaled. "I'm gonna go take a..."

Before she could finish her sentence, he pulled her back toward him with a grunt and once again slanted his lips over hers, this time prying her mouth open and deepening the kiss. He let go of her hand and skimmed along her skin, up her arms, over her shoulders, coming to a stop as he gently held her face in his hands. He let out a barely audible cry of her name as he moved, their tongues slipping over one another, in some sort of elegant dance.

She clung to him, her fingers clutching his collar as she begrudgingly moved away from him. "You have to stop doing that," she panted, feeling the absence of him, her eyes still closed. She felt her lips tingle, as if they were telling her they, too, missed the connection.

"No," he told her with a throaty chuckle and a small peck on the cheek. He bent his head and dropped a kiss to her neck as he whispered in her ear, "I don't."

She trembled at his words, her ability to tell his lies from his truths betraying her. She knew how incredibly serious he was, and it terrified her. She leaned backward, away from him, and then rose from the couch. She looked down at him and said, "Yes, you do." She turned fast and walked in the direction of the bathroom, not risking a glance over her shoulder, afraid she would give in and run back into his arms.

He watched her intently, and when she shut the bathroom door, he flopped back and sank into the sofa. He narrowed his eyes as he thought, coming up with clever ways to get her to stop walking away every time he kissed her, because if he had his way it would happen often. His pensive scowl twisted up into a sly grin.

He knew.

 _ **Reviews are much appreciated, and very motivating.**_

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Jo.**_

 _ **MarchCommaJo - Twitter**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction.**_

Hysteria

"Shoes," Elliot said, rolling a kink out of his neck. "It came down to a pair of fucking shoes."

Olivia swallowed the gulpful of coffee in her mouth and said, "And a big fucking ego." She stared at the black mug, her thumb running over the engraved silver shield. "He was a cop, El." She almost whispered it, as though it caused physical pain to say it. "A damn good one. How could he..." she shook her head. "I guess we never really know what...someone is capable of...we never really know a person."

"You know me," he said softly, smoothing his hand over her knee. "And I know you. As long as we have that, that's enough. Isn't it?"

"Do you know how many times I wonder..." she began, but it was hard to bring herself to think it, to say it. "How many times I wonder what would happen if I didn't pull you off the bastards in interrogation. Would you ever...go too far..."

"Never," he said firmly. "You know me, Liv. You know I'd stop myself from..."

"What if it was personal?" she asked, interrupting again. Her voice had dropped to a bare whisper and she shook her head, still staring at the NYPD coffee mug in her hands, even though, now, it was empty. "What if you couldn't stop?"

He grew concerned and scooted over closer to her, running his hand up the side of her body and looping around her. He eyed the bag of takeout, left untouched on the coffee table in front of him, but then looked back at her. "What's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"I have a pretty head?" she questioned, half-serious.

He chuckled. "You have a pretty everything. Beautiful, actually." He ran the fingers of his other hand through her hair before moving closer to kiss her temple. "So beautiful," he whispered.

She pulled way, almost flinching, and gave him a warning glance. "Don't."

He scowled at her, then, and shook his head. "So, what, I'm good enough to fuck after a rough case but you can't..."

"Elliot, that's not what I said!" she shouted, cutting him off. She shot up after swatting his hand off of her shoulder and threw her arms up in frustration. "Getting serious with you, right now, is fucking dangerous, okay?"

He rose to his feet and took a broad step toward her. "Gimme another excuse," he spat, waving his fingers at her, asking her to bring it on. "I already know all about your fear of commitment, how shitty you are in relationships, how you get bored easily. I've heard the story about you being a shitty girlfriend, I've heard all about your insane rules, but, hello, Olivia! We've been playing this game for a goddamned year! Give me one good reason we can't make this something more than..."

"You're married!" she hissed at him, needing him to stop babbling. Her chest heaved as she breathed hard, her eyes boring into his. She knew every reason he listed was a complete crock of utter bullshit. Those were excuses she used with other men, bad dates, and people from whom she wanted to distance herself. Nothing she could say would be a valid reason to deny him. She watched him move toward her, almost predatory, and she saw his lips curl into a wicked smirk.

He laughed from some dark part of his soul, it sounded low and somewhat sinister. "Not anymore," he said with a lilting voice, both eyebrows rising as his head tilted. "No more excuses." He moved his hands to her hips, and then dragged them down over her ass, digging in hard and pulling her into him. "You didn't have a problem kissing me up until two weeks ago. You didn't bat an eyelash at the thought of hopping into bed with me, and if last night was any indication, that is one habit you're not even attempting to break. So how about you look me in the eyes and tell me what's stopping you from giving that last part of yourself to this. To us." He lowered his head and whispered, right against her lips. "To me."

Her breath hitched, she tried to blink but couldn't, her eyes now frozen open and glued to his. "I...I just...we can't risk..."

"Fuck the risks," he huffed, almost disdainfully, and he moved that last quarter inch to claim her lips. He cupped her face, hard, and moaned when he felt her hands clutch his wrists.

She shuddered against him, but returned his eager and fervent kiss. She melted into him, relaxing more and more with each swipe of his tongue over hers, with every moan escaping his working lips. She didn't know what she was afraid of now, with him, only that the unfamiliar feeling of being unafraid was the most petrifying feeling she'd ever experienced. She pushed him away slightly, and she winced when she heard him moan in absolute protest.

He rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated and almost conceding whine. "Why do you keep..."

"I'm not," she said, stopping him, knowing what he was about to ask. "I just...I needed to breath, El, we both...we both just have to breathe." Her eyes were still closed, her color gone from every part of her face except her darkened, red lips.

He let his hands return to the sides of her face, his usually rough hands now skimming over her cheeks like silk scarves. "You don't want this," he assumed. "You don't want me...do you?" He sounded like a wounded puppy.

"God, Elliot," she breathed, dropping her forehead against his and almost nuzzling him. "Yes. Fuck, yes, I do, that's...that's the problem. I can't..." she choked. She took another breath and steadied herself against his stone-like form, hoping his strength would be enough to keep her from collapsing as she readied to admit the thing of which she was most afraid. "I can't lose you. If I screw this up like I do every..."

He couldn't help the small laugh that escaped as he pressed his lips to hers. What she had said was completely absurd to him. "Look at me," he demanded. When she looked into his eyes, he saw the very real fear and guilt that lay behind the deep brown facade. "Do you honestly believe, with me, you could possible screw anything up?"

She bit her lip, knowing him better than anyone, knowing he would never let her fuck it up, and he'd never let her go, even if she ever managed to bumble something. "What about work?" she asked, shrugging, her brows turning upward in worry.

"Nothing...nothing says we can't," he told her, shaking her head in his hands for emphasis. "It was your personal policy, which I'm pretty sure only existed to prevent yourself from having an affair with me." He watched her roll her eyes and they shared a laugh. "Fat lot of good that did, huh?" he teased. He gave her a soft kiss. "I'll tell the rat squad, when this becomes too serious for us to hide, and until then, we do what we've been doing for eleven months and two days." He kissed her again, this time making it a bit longer, deeper. "Keep our personal lives...personal." He let her have it, this time, prying her lips open with his tongue and nipping at them with his teeth between long and fiery kisses.

She moaned in defeat, knowing he was right. But she overthought again, hearing a conversation from earlier that day echoing in her mind. Elliot had told her about him and his daughter, playing soccer, his moment of parental hysteria. She stiffened, then, and the guilt seeped back into every cell. "Your family," she mumbled, still kissing him. "Your kids."

"We'll deal with it," he mumbled right back to her. He pulled his lips off of hers and gave her a serious look. "My kids...they mean the world to me, and if I thought, for a single second, that they would be hurt or upset with...us...I would never..."

That was apparently all she needed to hear. She kissed him with such force they fell back onto the sofa. Her hand gripped his collar tightly as her knee slipped between his legs and he growled, holding her closer. She let common sense fly away and focused on the very severe shift that had just rocked their world.

He felt it, too, and pawed at her back as he rocked his hips, causing fierce friction between her knee and his cock. He was all but begging, and when he found the gall, he gave a loud grunt and, holding her, sprang to his feet.

With a gasp and a laugh, she wrapped herself around him and enjoyed the ride to the bedroom. He dropped her to her feet near the bed and her remaining doubts and fears were stripped away with most of her clothes.

She ran her hands slowly along his musculature, moaning as they drew nearer and nearer to consummating what seemed like a brand new relationship, while they both neglected their dinner, and their cell phones, which threatened to rip them back into reality.

He heard the loud buzz as they vibrated and danced out on the coffee table, and he spat a harsh curse as he swatted her hand away from the waistband of his boxers. "Fucking hell," he gritted through clenched teeth as he pulled up his pants and ran to answer his phone.

She watched him go for a moment, her bra-clad chest rising and falling with her panting breaths. She shook her head fast, as if waking herself from a sleepwalking slumber. "Shit," she hissed, grabbing her sweater off of the floor and pulling it back on over her head.

She met him in the living room, walking toward him while hopping back into her pants. As she zipped them, she looked at him. "What?"

"Body," he said, biting his lip. "Couple of uniforms are checking it out but it might be kicked our way. Cragen wants us to go out to the house, be on standby."

She nodded as she licked her lips and combed her hair with her fingers.

"Before..." he said, clearing his throat. He handed her cell phone to her and said, "What did you mean? If it was personal?"

She took a breath and pressed her lips together. "You don't think I know you're looking for him?" She watched a grim expression take over his features. "I love you for it, really, I do. But what happens if you find him?" She bit her lip again. "If you get the man who raped my mother in that box with you...I know you're going to..." She paused. "You're gonna want to kill him, and I can't promise...I can't tell you I'd stop you. What happens if you can't stop yourself?"

His eyes flashed with some blend of anger, passion, protectiveness, and love. "You know me," was all he would give her.

She watched him head for her front door, and both eyes slid closed in realization. "I know," she said to herself.

He spun around and kissed her, letting his lips linger on hers for as long as he could. "And I know you. You'd stop me." He nodded firmly, telling her it was certain, and slid one hand around her waist as the other shut the door behind him.

 _ **Reviews are much appreciated, and very motivating.**_

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Jo.**_

 _ **MarchCommaJo - Twitter**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction.**_

Wanderlust

"I almost felt sorry for her," Olivia said, running her fingers up and down Elliot's bare chest. "I know what it's like."

"What?" he asked, staring up at the bedroom ceiling and curling her hair around his fingers. He felt her kiss his chest and smiled, loving how her head rose and fell with his every breath.

"Wanting someone to take you away...from everyone and everything," Olivia whispered, closing her eyes. "Hoping that the first person who promised to do it would live up to it, and sacrificing your own life for a chance at...living without the people who...hurt you."

"You're talking about that guy...from your mother's class," he kissed her forehead and looked down at her, "Aren't you?"

She took a breath and tilted her head, resting her chin on his chest. She nodded, kissing his neck. "When he told me he'd take me with him, it was a miracle, but...when my mother stopped me from going with him, and we had that fight..."

"Hey," he kissed her to silence her. "Don't go there. It's over. You didn't go with him because...he wasn't the guy, baby."

She raised an eyebrow in a silent question.

"He wasn't the man who was destined to take you away from it all," he whispered. "Think about it. Things got better after we met. She's been so good to you ever since..."

"You," she finished, smiling at him. "You talked to her, I remember. I don't know what you said, but you got through to her." She closed her eyes and exhaled. "God, how many nights I spent in the bunker at work, praying you'd come in and prove to me that you only talked to her because you...love me."

"That happened," he did with a laugh. "A lot."

She shook her head. "I meant...really. Like...well, like I guess you are now. You're doing your damndest to make me feel it. To convince me that this is right, taking me away from everything." Her tone changed, grew a bit despondent, as she said, "Or...is it the other way around?"

"Fuck," he spat, sitting up and reaching over to turn on the side lamp. "No, absolutely...look at me." He pulled her up, into his lap, and wrapped his fingers around her chin. "You didn't take me away from anything I wasn't already leaving behind. I swear to you, I..."

"I know," she said, stopping him. She kissed him and whispered, "I meant...in a good way. Taking each other places we've never been." She kissed him again. "You got me to admit some things in the last three days that...I never thought I'd hear myself say." She cupped his face. "You've made me feel things I've never felt in my entire life, and it terrifies me to no end...to think one day it'll all just be a memory..."

"How can you..." he paused, looking into her eyes. "Yesterday, when Cragen told me my feelings would always be part of the job..." He stopped to kiss her. "For a minute there, I thought he meant you. Us." He brushed her hair back and kissed her again, his tongue finding hers, a soft moan shared between them. "I want my 'always' to include you."

"How can you..." she paused, knowing that he was serious and deep down, she felt the same way. "Always, huh?" She was grinning now.

He nodded. "While Maureen was at the dance, I took some time to pack and I talked to the other kids, and I asked them...how they would feel about spending a lot of their time here, with you. Us. Now, do you honestly think I would have done that if I wasn't so sure we would..."

She stopped him with yet another kiss and whispered, "I'm not very good at this," and let her head fall to his.

"Neither am I," he whispered back, pressing his lips against hers. "So we work together to get good." He smiled and said, "This is already better than the last..."

"Ever," she laughed. "The best ever." She settled herself against him and nuzzled him a moment. "Turn off the light." She caught his bottom lip between her teeth and pulled, which earned her a low growl. "Show me how good we are."

He attached his lips to hers and blindly reached for the lamp's knob. Once they were cloaked in darkness, he deepened their kiss and worked their bodies down until they were flat on the mattress. He ran his hands up her bare back and pulled her tighter, making sure every inch of her body was pressed to his. He shifted weight and gave a slow rock of his hips, filling her.

With every thrust and every moment of their kiss, he tried to erase the memories of the case that brought up painful memories for her, silently promising that all of the misery was in the past and her future lies with him.

"El," she cried, feeling him gripping her, holding her down as he thrust up hard. She knew he was trying like hell to tell her something. She lost herself in the feel of him, the way he kissed her worry and doubt away. She bucked with him, riding him, loving him, and every ounce of wanderlust she'd had evaporated. The yearning to be taken away was no longer burning within her, since Elliot he already taken her far from the life she'd known before him. She didn't have any desire to run, to find something else. Unless he was running and finding it with her, she realized in afterthought.

He grunted into her open mouth, cried her name softly, and then gasped when he felt her right hand smooth down his body and snake between them.

Her nails scratched along his skin as she ran her fingers back up the side of his body. She mumbled something to him and he felt his world brighten. She hadn't said them loudly, or clearly, but she had said them. He moved upward harder, still holding her, still kissing her. "I love you, too," he choked, and then he sealed her lips with his again and moved faster.

They came, him mere seconds after her, with more emotional weight than ever. He kissed her over and over, his hands clinging possessives to her ass, keeping her attached to him.

She felt him twitch inside of her and she moaned his name again, this time softly with a rasp in her voice. She shivered when his hands moved, drawing patterns in her back. "I could stay right here, forever," she whispered, sighing and wrapping tightly around him.

He smiled, one hand moving up her body to rest on the back of her head. He massaged her scalp gently, kissing her forehead as his breathing slowed. "Promise?" he whispered to her. He waited, but did not get a response. He chuckled and closed his eyes, joining her in blissful slumber, knowing they'd get a rude awakening any minute.

 _ **Reviews are much appreciated, and very motivating.**_

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Jo.**_

 _ **MarchCommaJo - Twitter**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction.**_

Sophomore Jinx

She watched the way his eyes flickered with what she perceived as regret, the way he scratched at his five o'clock shadow, and she felt guilty for the eleventh time since she woke up. She sighed and her hands shook slightly as they lifted her mug to her lips. She didn't even flinch at the scalding coffee burning her tongue and throat, she just stared at him, across her desk.

His words from two days ago haunted her, much like he had promised he would if he ever...it was a grim thought, and a morbid memory for her to have, but she promised him, heard his voice again: _If I ever go down, you'd better make sure the spot where my body is found doesn't ever look like this, or I will haunt you for the rest of your days._ She let out a silent laugh, remembering how offended he had been by the outpouring of emotion displayed on the curb, a school community grieving their loss, their friend. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to alleviate the burning that seared her skin. Losing Elliot was never something she wanted to actively think about, and the promise was easy for her to make. She'd long ago decided that if anything ever happened to him, it would be the end for her, too. She wouldn't be around to let anyone lay flowers down; her body would be found right beside his.

"You okay?" he asked, noticing that she had lost herself in thought. "Hello? Earth to Olivia!"

She shook her head and snapped out of it, looking back over at him. "What?"

"You spaced out on me," he said, taking the coffee out of her hands. He watched her intently as he took a sip and placed it right back into her frozen hands. He winked at her and said, "Must be one hell of a daydream."

"No," she said, swallowing hard. She pushed the unsettling images out of her mind and put her mug down on her desk. She bit her lip, and then she asked him something that had been plaguing her for most of the day. "Do you regret it?"

He tilted his head. "Depends on what _it_ is," he said with a furrowed brow.

"Not going to Everglades University," she said with a small chuckle. "Not being able to, uh, enjoy the sexual temperature, as you put it."

He leaned back in his seat with a smile and put his hands behind his head. "I regret not having the full experiences of being an irresponsible college kid," he confessed with a shrug. "I don't regret being a Marine, I don't regret my kids, and I don't regret my job. If I would've gone..." he paused and his look softened. He smiled at her. "We wouldn't be here."

"Maybe..." she stopped herself from saying something that would piss him off, and she shook her head as she said, "You still feel the need to make your sexual temperature rise? You're a single man, now, Stabler. Any desire to act like a frat guy?"

"I, uh..." he dropped his hands and sat up straighter, and then leaned over to her. He looked around, and for the sake of Cassidy and Munch, he lowered his voice just enough. "The woman I'm seeing now? She is...every fantasy I have ever had. Combined. Times ten. My sexual temperature, uh, it's a constant fever."

Cassidy, overhearing, shot him a look and raised an eyebrow, a grin on his face. "The fuck?" he said, pleasantly shocked.

Elliot chuckled and turned toward his colleague. "What, man?"

"You got a rebound chick already?" Cassidy folded his arms, nodding with a smile. "All right, Stabler. Back in the saddle. Always figured you to be some kind of playboy." He laughed and asked, "Lemme guess. She's one of many, am I right? You making up for lost time?"

"She's not..." but before Elliot could defend his relationship, Cragen stepped out of his office and strolled toward him. Elliot looked up, suspecting the worst, and asked, "What did I do?"

Cragen shook his head. "Just need you to fill this out," he said, handing Elliot a stapled bunch of papers. "I know what to expect on, uh, certain lines, but for the love of Christ, be discreet about it." He shot a sharp, domineering look at Elliot before walking back toward his office.

Olivia saw Elliot's eyes drop and the warmth in his cheeks fade. "What is it?"

Pressing his lips together, he shook his head. "Updated personnel records." He shook the papers a bit. "Gotta let the brass know that, uh, Kathy's no longer part of my life, or my pension." He bent his head again and pulled himself into his desk. He slapped the forms on the cool, metal surface and picked up a pen, starting to check off boxes. "Single," he scoffed, marking the paper. He mumbled under his breath as he filled out the first two pages. He came to a stop as he read a section he wasn't quite sure how to complete. "Oh, uh...fuck." He smoothed his hand over his sandpaper chin again. "Liv?"

"Yeah?" she returned, perking up. "What do you need me to do?" she held her hand out, knowingly, expectantly.

He handed her the stapled sheets and the pen, and the look he was giving her could be interpreted as begging for mercy or a promise of undying love.

She knew it was both. She took the forms from him and as she read, her heart struggled to keep a steady rhythm. She looked at him, the gears in her head spinning. What was she doing? Her heart told her it was so fucking right, but her head just couldn't come to the same decision, yet. She held his gaze, serious, for only a moment before she smiled, and then she began to fill in the boxes. Her name, her address, her phone number, her loop-filled signature. "You sure?" she asked him, before making the final, confirming marks on the page.

He nodded. "Absolutely," he told her. He'd never been more serious or sure about anything. He watched her pen move as she initialed the box and when she handed the papers back to her, he had to fight back tears. His marriage had dissolved, crumbled, and he had just asked his partner, his best friend, to put herself in every vacated position that his ex-wife had left behind. "So, uh, are you..." he cleared his throat again, feeling sort of silly for asking after the fact. "You okay with me giving this to him?"

"Of course," she said with a shrug. "You're in the same damn spots on mine, you know that." She grabbed her lukewarm coffee again and drank the dregs. "He's never questioned it."

He scraped his nails under his chin and wobbled his head back and forth. "Yeah," he hummed, "But it...means something...different now. I think Cragen knows that, too, you heard him."

"Cragen doesn't know shit," Olivia told him, rolling her eyes. "He just assumes..." she stopped, combing her hands through her hair. "It's logical, no one can deny that. I should be your proxy, if anything happens, I'm the one that's going to be right there with..."

"Liv," he cut her off, grinning. He handed the packet back to her and tapped the first page. "Read that," he commanded. He waited, watching her, and he saw her eyes widen and heard her choke on air. He chuckled and took the papers back from her. "Putting it in black and white like that...is definitely gonna give him the wrong idea."

"Or the right one," she mumbled, and she held her breath as Elliot walked over to Cragen's office and knocked on the door. "You could have just left it blank," she called to him, a slight panic in her voice. "At least until you found a place."

He looked over his shoulder at her, laughing. "Whatever you say," he said, giving her another classic wink and a smirk that meant more than he let on. He walked into Cragen's open door and shut it behind him.

"What was all that about?" Cassidy asked, seeing Olivia's color finally returning.

She took a few deep, calming breaths, and said, "Elliot...he had to put my address down on his form because he's...staying with me until he can find a place. I don't want Cragen assuming...anything is..."

"He knows you two better than that," Cassidy interrupted. "Besides, we all heard Stabler bragging about that girl he's with, so he'll probably end up at her place more than yours." He picked up his pen and got to work on some paperwork, giving Olivia another smile.

"Yeah," she sighed shakily. "Probably." She bit her lip. She looked back toward the office, her stomach churning. It was as if she had only just realized what she'd done, staring at the closed door was making her very aware of just how serious Elliot had been about diving into things with her head first, without a life-jacket. She let out a shaking breath, directing her attention toward her computer. She checked her e-mail, hoping Elliot was at least smart enough to tell Cragen the living arrangements were only temporary.

Although, deep down, she hoped they wouldn't be.

Her head turned when she heard Cragen's door open again and she saw the dejected expression on Elliot's face. "Oh, my God," she muttered. "What happened?"

He shook his head and held up a yellow slip of paper. "We, uh, we got a call while I was in there, that's all. I was...I wanted to go home." He shrugged. "Guess we can't, now," he grumbled as he handed her the memo. "I'm driving."

She rolled her eyes as she got out of her chair. "You always drive," she complained.

"Yeah, because you'd get us killed," he laughed, grabbing her jacket for her. He held it open and as unnoticeably as he could, he let his fingers graze the curves of her breasts as he helped her into the leather coat.

She gasped and shot him a look, and she was met with a mischievous smirk. "Save it for later," she whispered to him.

He waved at Munch and Cassidy, and then walked with Olivia out of the squad room. "Ask," he said, straightening his tie.

"What did he say?" she questioned, not at all surprised that Elliot had known she was going to ask him.

He hit the call button for the elevator, and he looked at her, the playfulness gone and a severity in its place. "Not a damn thing," he said. "The man read it, line by line, and then he nodded, like it was..." He ushered her into the opening metal doors and cleared his throat. "He didn't seemed surprised, or angry, or upset. He just thanked me, told me he was here for me if I needed to talk, told me I had a few vacation days if I needed them...the man is acting like I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown because Kathy walked out on me."

Olivia shoved her hands in her pockets, suddenly uncomfortable. She saw the uncertain, melancholy look in his eyes again, one that had reappeared whenever he spoke about Kathy or the kids, or his divorce. "Are you?"

He looked at her quizzically. "Fuck no," he scoffed. "I'm the one that pulled the plug. I had...have...so much more to live for now, and I'm gonna do everything in my power to hold onto it, do you understand what I'm saying?" His eyes were glued to hers, his voice was firm, and his words were dripping with determination and finality.

She raised one eyebrow and twisted her mouth, and then she nodded. "You just...you seem somewhere else, today, and I don't..." she paused to choose her words carefully, knowing how volatile his mood had been lately. "I'm, technically, only your second relationship. If we're calling it one. I don't want you to regret...yesterday, when you were talking about the Everglades, and why you wanted to go there, being around those kids who were having all the sex they wanted, no strings attached...I don't want to be your sophomore jinx."

"What?" he spat, grabbing her by the wrist as the elevator stopped. He pulled her out of it and dragged her into a dark, quiet corner of the lobby. "How could you think...you don't want me to start resenting you, because you think I'm gonna want more? Other women? Is that it?"

"You're jumping from one marriage into...whatever this is," she said, catching herself almost crossing a line. "You're with me eighteen hours a day, as it is, and now...you're gonna be with me all night, too. Just...just me." She looked away from him, shaking her head.

"He chuckled and nodded. "Yeah," he agreed, "And I wouldn't have it any other way." He ran the pad of his thumb along the side of her hand, catching her eyes as she looked back at him. "I grew up, ya know? I don't want to be like those kids, Liv. Not anymore. What I want...is you. Just you. If I did nothing but beg you to take me seriously, how could you think I would..."

"I'm not used to feeling...secure...in a relationship," she gave him a one-shoulder shrug and squeezed his hand, and then she said, "But for the record...you're all I want, too." She took a breath. "You always have been." She mentally cursed herself for admitting that out loud, but, she realized there was no hiding now. Not from him.

He exhaled, as if he had given her the best news of his life. In a way, she had. "Come on," he said, pulling her toward the revolving doors. "I wanna get this over with. I have plans for you."

"Oh," she intoned brightly as they stepped out onto the sidewalk. "Is that so?"

He laughed and gave her an affirmative hum, but as he unlocked the doors to the maroon sedan, he sighed and closed his eyes. There was so much he had to tell her, ask of her, and he hoped to God the case would close fast, before he lost his nerve.

 _ **Reviews are much appreciated, and very motivating.**_

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Jo.**_

 _ **MarchCommaJo - Twitter**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction.**_

Uncivilized

She tried like hell to ignore the pain in his eyes, the tension that hung off of every muscle and dripped from every word. She chugged back the cold coffee that had been sitting on her desk for hours, grimacing as she swallowed. She got up to throw away the foam cup, and on her way back to her desk, he gripped her wrist. She took a sharp breath and looked down at him. He wasn't looking at her, but he wasn't letting go of her. "Are you okay?"

He pressed his lips together hard, shaking his head.

She dropped to a low crouch, clutching the hand that clung to her wrist with her fingers. "El, breathe," she said, worried, her eyes flickering from his lips to his eyes and back again. "Please."

He took a perforated breath, finally turning to look at her. "This case..."

"I know," she said, offering a dejected smile. "Kids. When the vic is a kid it's one thing, but this was...just...all kids." She looked into his dry, reddened eyes and she knew why it got to him, why he was on the verge of tears. She gave his hand another squeeze and asked, "Did you call them?"

He shook his head. "You did," he told her, knowing that the phone call she made just before eight-thirty was to his children. "You told them I love them?"

"Of course," she whispered. "You know they...they don't really understand, but they don't blame you." She reached up to comb his hair back with her fingers, thanking God that no one else was in the squad room. "They love you, too. They all do. You know that, don't you? They miss their daddy."

He smiled and nodded, holding back a sob. "I just..." he stopped and he sniffled, and then pulled his hands away from her to rub his eyes and slap at his face. "God, I just lost it there for a minute."

She nodded at him and got to her feet. "Finish up, okay?" she tapped the file on his desk. "We can...I mean, if you'd rather go...back home, I get it."

He snapped his head toward her, his eyes narrow. "What? I miss my kids, Liv, I don't miss Kathy. How could you...oh, that...that's what you meant." He realized he'd snapped and rolled his shoulders in an attempt to calm down. "No, I...I just want to go back to your place, have a couple of cold beers, get into bed and...make all my problems go away." The smile that tempted to creep over his face gave it one hell of a try, and he caught her eyes again. "Know what I mean?"

She chuckled and nodded, walking back to her side of the desk. She sat and settled in, leaning back in her chair a bit. She tried to find him, under the layers of thick emotional scars the past two days had caused. This was a side of him she'd never seen, and one she hoped would never appear again when the divorce dust settled. "So fucking uncivilized," she said under her breath, thinking about the letter he'd gotten earlier that morning.

"Sorry, what?" he questioned, hearing her. His nostrils flared and the anger that had just faded was set to ignite. "I'm what?"

"Not you." She shook her head as she stared at a coffee-stain ring on her desk blotter. "How could she just...asking for injunction, ordering you to disclose text messages, e-mails...you can't even send a postcard unless her lawyer reads it first. And she has the balls to ask for spousal support? I thought you had a pre-nup."

He smiled, finding comfort in her infuriating disdain of his soon-to-be-ex-wife. "I was eighteen," he said. "We didn't exactly have a sit-down with the folks to discuss our impending nuptials. I knocked her up, so I married her." He shrugged and then continued. "Ya know, I'm Catholic this wasn't supposed to...she...she's making this as messy as she could possibly..." he bit his lip, catching her eyes. He smiled again, relaxing his shoulders and breathing easier. "You don't have anything to worry about. I make sure that any texts or e-mails between us are always nothing but professional." He lowered his voice and smirked. "It's the phone calls that get a bit racy."

She let out a small, soft laugh. "I just don't...I hate seeing you like this," she threw a hand up at him. "She's made what should have been a simple dissolution of..."

"Nothing with Kathy was ever simple," he interrupted with a sigh, squeezing the bridge of his nose. "Her lawyer actually asked me...what the marital issues were, and handed me this list of things, and he...fuck, the only things I could see that had anything to do with why I need this marriage to be over were irreconcilable differences and sexual incompatibility." He snorted when he saw the expression on her face. "Don't look at me like that," he said. "Trust me there is nothing compatible, sexual or otherwise, between me and my ex-wife. The actual definition of that is...we just don't...we haven't..."

"You don't have to explain it to me," she interrupted, really not wanting to hear details of the sex-life, or lack thereof, he had with Kathy. "Do you have an attorney?"

He looked at her, and as he nodded he licked his lips. "Guy named Randall, a friend of mine down in the DA's office gave me his number. So far, he's fighting like hell for me. He had to go through all the property adjustments, and, uh, instead of one of us getting the house in the settlement we're selling it and splitting the..."

"Where are your kids going?" she butted in, sitting up straighter. "El, you can't tell me that she's gonna let them all stay with her at her mother's until one of you finds a house. That's...fucking...that's not okay!"

"Maybe I should've hired you as my lawyer," he joked, seeing the fire in her eyes. "We haven't even gotten around to custody agreements, and, let's face it, it's gonna be weekends and holidays for me. With this job, no judge would give them to me full time, unless it's what they want. I'm not exactly father of the year," he shrugged and slumped back in his chair, picking up a pen and laying his signature down on the last page of his final file of the night. "I, uh, I'm petitioning for joint custody, though. I...I love mt kids, more than anything, and I...I want as much time with them as I can get."

"Joint...well, that's the best thing, right?" she asked, biting her lip, knowing it was a shot in the dark, but knowing Elliot knew it. "They keep both their parents in their lives, it doesn't make either of you the bad guy," she saw him starting to get up so she moved, too. "That's what you're hoping for, isn't it?"

He yawned as he nodded and lifted the folder off of his desk. He turned out his desk lamp and sauntered over to Cragen's office door, dropping the file into a metal rack on the wall beside it. "But the same question applies," he told her as he turned toward her again. "Where do I put them, if I have to keep them for two weeks to a month, where the hell are they supposed to sleep?" He moved up closer to her and lowered his voice. "According to that piece of paper Cragen has on his desk, I'm sleeping on your couch as it is, so where the fuck do I put four kids?"

She gnawed on the inside of her cheek for a moment. "Well, you staying with me, that's always been a temporary solution," she told him. "Wait and see what happens, and if this Randall guy thinks you've got a shot at joint custody, I'll help you look for a house." She shrugged and ran her fingers through her hair. "If it's just weekends and holidays...I'll still help you look. Whatever happens...you don't have to deal with this by yourself."

He looked at her and felt the shattered bits of his heart beginning to mend. He raised an eyebrow as he headed for the door.

"Any of it," she added, grabbing her jacket. "What we deal with at work...I know we always found ways to get through it, together, but I'm still here, for all the shit that goes beyond the job. I'm right here. Just because you're not leaving at two-in-the-morning anymore, El, it doesn't mean..."

"Hey, hey," he said, stopping her and stepping in front of her. "What's that about?"

She looked around, darting her eyes in all directions, and then yanked on his sleeve as she walked toward the elevator. With a sotto voice, she said, "I'm taking half of the blame for your failed marriage, so the least I could do is take half the responsibility of dealing with the fallout."

He narrowed his eyes as they stepped through the sliding metal doors. "Half of the...you think I...no one blames you. Not me, not Kathy, certainly not the kids."

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Kathy blames me," she said, staring at the closing doors. She hit the button for the lobby and tilted her head. "Why the hell do you think she wants copies of your e-mails and transcripts of your text messages?"

"Liv, she..." he cleared his throat. "She's always suspected...us," he waved his index finger between them. "This." He ran his other hand down his face, scrubbing the grim look off of it. "But she doesn't know, not...not really. And she doesn't blame you, okay? She blames me. She knows you...you tried to stop this, but I am a stubborn son of a bitch."

Olivia laughed. "Yeah, you are," she agreed, folding her arms. "You're gonna be okay."

"We are," he said with a nod. "I know." He was the one pulling now, as the elevator doors opened and he led her out of the box. He pulled on the sleeve of her jacket until they pushed through the glass doors of the station, and then his fingers linked with hers. He felt her squeeze his hand and he said, "You and me."

"Yeah, okay," she sighed, not grasping the gravity of what he meant. She walked with him across the street to the diner, letting him pull her inside.

He held her hand tighter as they found their usual booth, and he held up two fingers when he caught the waitresses attention. "Sad, isn't it?" he asked with a laugh, sliding next to her instead of across from her.

"What is?" she asked, her eyes focused on their still-joined hands.

He used his other hand to lift her chin, making sure she looked him in the eyes tonight. "We come here so often, these cushions are molded to my ass and they waitress knows our order by heart." He held onto her chin gently as he bent his head, giving her a soft, sweet kiss.

She blinked rapidly as she backed away from him. "You shouldn't do that, not here." She took a wary look around. "What if Kathy..."

"It's almost midnight," he laughed. "And she lives in Queens, remember? Relax." He kissed her again and let out a slow breath, moving closer to her so the waitress could pour their coffee. "This is gonna be quick and painless," he told her. "I want to keep this out of court, and I want this over, and put behind me, as fast as possible. I'm gonna keep my cool, be nothing but civil to her, and hopefully things go in our favor."

She was quiet for a moment, taking in his words, and the weight of them. He said it again, she heard him clearly. Our. He included her in almost every aspect of the situation. She stared into her coffee as she tried to process what he'd said. "Yeah," she finally whispered, taking a sip of the hot liquid. "About this morning, El..."

"Don't," he said, holding up a hand. "You were right, I was letting the fact that they were just a couple of kids interfere with what the evidence was telling me, and God, Liv, that little boy...he reminded me of..."

"Dickie," she said, nodding. "When he was younger. I saw it, too. I felt it, too, El, believe me." She took another sip of her coffee and looked at him. "I thought you wanted to go home, grab a beer, and get..."

"We have time," he interjected, kissing her forehead. "I just really needed to be with you, it didn't matter where. And I'm starving."

She laughed and looked at him, and some invisible force pushed her toward him. Her lips were on his, her hands smoothing up his chest, and the words formed and flew out of her mouth before she even realized it. "Get the food to go."

 _ **Reviews are much appreciated, and very motivating.**_

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Jo.**_

 _ **MarchCommaJo - Twitter**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction.**_

Stalked

"Stop," she said, for the sixth time. "Please? You're driving me crazy."

"I can't help it," he told her, still pacing back and forth in front of his couch. "I've been running on pure adrenaline for the last five days! I haven't slept, I haven't eaten a full meal, I haven't..."

"I know!" she snapped, butting into his rant, ending it. "I was right there with you! Actually, I was in here, you were outside in your car, keeping watch."

He looked at her with dark, narrow eyes. "Yes! Yes, I was!" He threw his hands up as he continued wandering from left to right, stricken. "Where the hell else did you expect me to be? If White made a move, shit, I was gonna be there, waiting."

"He didn't, so can you please calm the fuck down?" she pleaded. "It's over. You're...you're scaring me."

He looked at her and he laughed bitterly. "And what the fuck was that crack on Saturday? You'd only drive your ass to Queens to save me...because I have a wife and kids? You know I left! I'm going through hell to be with you, not her! You!"

"Elliot! It was a joke! I was trying to cut the tension," she explained. "You were white as a ghost, shaking like a fucking leaf, and I needed you to be the strong one because I was..." she paused, hating to admit it. "I was scared, too."

He stopped pacing and looked at her, pointing a finger. "If he would have...fuck, I don't know what I'd do if..."

"Quit thinking about it," she told him sharply. "Sit the fuck down, okay? The son of a bitch is in jail, he can't hurt me!"

He looked at her, sighing, and with the inside of his cheek being chewed to shreds by his teeth, he sat next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed, hard.

She felt the hammering of his heart against her chest, and she could tell he was trying not to cry. "El?" she questioned, unsure of what was happening.

He shook his head as he buried it into the bend of her neck. "I know I pissed you off, I got too protective..." he began. He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. "You have to understand, I can't lose you. I..."

"I know you get possessive," she interrupted. "That's not new, but...with things going the way they are with Kathy, did you honestly think...you were supposed to spend the weekend dealing with things at your house. Did you really think driving all the way across town to get me was smart? You called every five minutes, when you were supposed to be helping your kids pack, and fucking hell, Elliot, Kathy was in the room with you. If that's not asking for trouble, than..."

"You're more important to me!" he found himself yelling. He shocked her, he knew it, the look in her eyes was enough of a clue. "Don't you get that? And it's my job to protect you. No matter what! If that means I get stuck paying alimony, I really don't give a shit." He gripped her face, then, and practically forced her eyes to stay fixed on his. "If anyone threatens you, ever, they have to deal with me, and you know I get..."

"If The Incredible Hulk and Thor somehow had a child, he still wouldn't compare to you when you're on a rampage," she laughed, cutting him off.

He nodded. "When it comes to you, yeah," he said. "No one hurts you, no one even thinks about hurting you, and gets away with it."

She ran a hand softly down the side of his face. "It was...kinda romantic, I gotta admit." She kissed the tip of his nose. "The way you dropped me off right at the door, made me flash the lights," she laughed. "I know you had to go help them pack, but you came back here as soon as you could, and instead of coming in, you parked outside, and I know you had your gun in your hand all night, just waiting for someone to try something. El, you...you were like my bodyguard."

"I am going to guard your body, with everything I have, until the day I die," he told her, sealing his promise with a kiss. His hands still clutched the sides of her face and he pulled her downward into a comfortable straddle as he leaned back on the couch. He let his hands fall down, sliding over her body, coming to rest at the small of her back. She rocked against him, making him curse into her mouth, and as she laughed she felt him stiffen. "What?" she asked, stopping.

His face was frozen, except for the tremble of his bottom lip. His nose began to redden, and his eyes filled with tears. He shook his head with fervor and he wrapped himself around her, pulling her so tight. It was no use trying to stop the tears, so he shed them unabashedly. He sobbed into her chest, holding her close to him. "I wouldn't survive," he mumbled. "Liv, I..."

"Hey, hey," she said, almost whispering, pulling his head up. Tears were running down her cheeks, too, and she kissed him hard on the lips. "I'm okay. I'm perfectly okay."

He nodded, his eyes shut tight. He too a deep breath and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I know," he huffed, nodding. "I swear if he..." he stopped, not wanting to think it, at all. He took another deep breath and exhaled harshly through an open mouth. He looked up at her, his hands running up and down her back, and he kissed her. He ran his tongue along her lips, and when she welcomed him in, he made the kiss deep, slow, and meaningful.

She kissed him back, her tears drying, and her hands ran over his body. "I love you," she whispered against the kiss, over and over.

He returned her sentiments, murmuring as he kissed her. He had good enough of a grip on her to get up, and was about to take her into the bedroom, when their phones started ringing. "Fuck," he hissed, pulling his lips away from hers. "Not tonight. Not now," he whined.

With a sad and exhausted sigh, she squeezed her thighs to stay balanced on his lap and bent backward, reaching for her cell phone, and his, on the coffee table. "Benson," she said as she answered her call. She dropped his phone into his lap and then moved her hand to his head, letting her nails scratch lightly over his scalp.

He made soft, content sounds as he picked up his phone. "Stabler," he grumbled unhappily. He listened to the caller, stifling a yawn, and scratched his chin. He grabbed Olivia's wrist and pulled her hand off of his head. He slapped her ass lightly, telling her to get off of him, though it was the last thing he really wanted. "Okay, yeah, what's the address again?" he asked, getting off of the couch. He knew Olivia was following him into the bedroom.

She hung up her call and tossed her phone onto the bed, rushing to the closet. "How much time do you think we have?" she asked, pulling a clean shirt off of a hanger. She turned to look at him and laughed, watching him pull fresh clothes out of a duffel bag. "You know, uh, when we get back...we should...make room for your stuff in the closet."

He eyed her for a moment. "I thought you...like you said, this is only temporary," he grinned, walking toward her.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but I don't want you looking like a wrinkled mess until you get a bigger, better place," she told him, giving him a whack in the arm. "Hang up your work clothes, put your stuff in the drawers." She kissed him and pressed her head to his. "Make yourself at home."

He kissed her again and gave her a soft push toward the bathroom. "Shower," he said with a single nod. "Now. We gotta go."

"We don't have time to..." her words were silenced by his index finger being pressed over her lips. She cocked an eyebrow.

He winked. "Get in the shower," he commanded. He watched with eager eyes as her clothes fell away from her body. He peeled the layers away from his own skin, keeping his eyes on her body, feeling his own react strongly. He licked his lips when she bent over and turned on the water, and he practically tackled her and threw her under the stream.

"Jesus," she chuckled as he assaulted her neck with kisses and suckles. He bit her and she moaned. "Not enough time," she declared, shaking her head.

He shot a hand out and grabbed the soap, lathering it between his palms. He washed the suds over her body, being very attentive to certain areas. He pulled her back under the water to rinse her off, and then haphazardly ran the soap up and down his own body.

She moved, then, grabbing the shampoo and running a dollop through his short hair. When he moaned, she kissed him. "I love you," she said, letting the water run over them.

He picked up the bottle and squeezed some shampoo into his hands, and then washed her shoulder length locks. He kissed her again, under the falling water, as the grime of their miserable week was rinsed away. "I love you, too, baby," he told her, bending slightly to turn off the water. He stepped out first, making sure the bath mat was in the right spot, and he grabbed the towels off of the rack. He held one out for her, smiling when she walked into it. He wrapped her up and kissed her, one last passionate kiss before they became ensnared in another horrendous case.

Following him back into the bedroom, she let go of the towel and moved closer to him. She dropped light kisses to his bare chest, and then he helped her into her underwear and pants. As she hooked herself into her bra, she watched him pull up his grey pants, forgoing any boxers or briefs. She smirked and narrowed her eyes at him.

He winked. "Why bother," he shrugged. He helped pull her sweater over her head, and he moved back a bit when she tugged his shirt onto his body. He kissed her forehead as she fastened the buttons. He thought to himself that this was always the most intimate part of his day, and he loved every second of it. He grabbed his jacket and tie, figuring he'd put them on in the elevator, and made sure to pick up her forgotten phone off of the bed. "You ready?"

"Not...not really, no," she said honestly. "I'd really rather just stay here and...be with you."

He kissed her once again, quickly, and he said, "I know, baby." He gave her a soft shove, through the door. They double checked that they had their keys, cuffs, guns, and badges when they stopped by the front door to put on their shoes. He grabbed her hand before she opened the door. "I would have killed him," he said, serious and stone-faced.

She bit her lip, her damp hair no longer the only thing sending shivers down her spine. "I know," she told him. And she did know. She knew that if Richard White had succeeded in harming her, no matter how slight the injury, Elliot would have killed him. She kissed him sweetly, a small peck on the lips, as she turned the doorknob, and they headed out into the hallway, into the middle of another tragedy. They hoped it would somehow make them forget the "might-have-beens" plaguing their minds as a result of the last one.

 _ **Reviews are much appreciated, and very motivating.**_

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Jo.**_

 _ **MarchCommaJo - Twitter**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction.**_

Stocks and Bondage

"You're still not over this thing with White, are you?" she asked him in a harsh whisper.

He looked at her and downed the shot in his hand, glaring into her eyes. "No, you think I can let something like that go?" He looked around for the rest of his squad, and then lowered his voice. "It's gonna take a while for me to shake it off."

"Can you at least rein it in at work?" she spat at him. "Cassidy noticed how over-protective you've been, and he's..."

"He's got a thing for you," he smirked and licked his lips, moving closer to her. "Never gonna happen. Sucks for him, but you're spoken for."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah," she said, "But you wanna keep your job? You gotta be better at controlling your need to protect me...at work."

"No, Liv, that's where my need to protect you should be fucking..." he paused and sighed. "The truth? Part of it was still reeling from White's obsession with you, my desire to protect you, but more of it was...my desire for you, in general. This whole case...when we walked into that shop, God, I wanted to..." he chuckled evilly. "You would have looked so fucking good in that leather outfit. And, uh, I know when you get in a certain mood, you're into a little rough..."

"Elliot!" She shot him a severe look and backed up a bit, hearing footsteps and voices coming closer.

Munch slapped Elliot on the back and signaled the bartender. "Next round's on me, but I have to get outta here. Oh, to be young and wild again," he bemoaned. He shot Olivia and Elliot separate but equal looks of slight annoyance. "Don't drink too much. You two are on-call."

They laughed and nodded, watched him walk away, and then both reached for the same drink. "Uh, you...you take it." He slid it over to her with a smile and then grabbed another glass.

She lifted the drink to her lips, her eyes on his. "Thanks," she said, shooting it back. She saw Cassidy grinning out of the corner of her eye, and she knew what she was about to do, about to say, would make more than his head head turn. "So, Stabler, was Jefferies right?"

Elliot narrowed his eyes. What war was she starting? "About what?"

"When she asked if you got off on getting those tattoos of yours," she said, dragging a finger down his arm, deliberately running over his inked portrait of Jesus. "Or, uh, from working with her?"

That was it. She was jealous. He smirked at her. "I was kidding," he said, nodding once. "The only thing working with Jeffries gives me is a headache."

"Hey!" the woman on the other side of him laughed and hit him in the shoulder. "Not nice."

"But so true," he told her with a narrow-eyed grin. He shot back his drink and grimaced. "My, uh...girlfriend. She bites. Scratches. We've used the cuffs a couple times." He caught Olivia's eyes and saw how dark and dangerous her expression had become. "But real pain? The only real pain I feel is when I'm not with her, and that...I definitely don't get off on that."

Olivia was about to speak, but Cassidy cut her off. "What about you, Benson? You into whips and chains?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Only when there's whipped cream involved."

Elliot coughed, choking on the shot he'd attempted to swallow, and he heard the laughter and felt Olivia slapping his back. He coughed again and nodded, telling her he was all right, but he gave her a meaningful look. One eyebrow shot up and he shook his head at her.

She shrugged innocently. Reaching for a freshly poured drink, she said, "This is it for me, I know my limits." She downed the shot with a harsh wince. She slid off of the bar stool and took a few steps away from the group.

"Guess I gotta go, then," Elliot said, giving the impression that he was upset. "She's my ride."

Jeffries grinned. "Stay, I'll take you..."

"Nah," Elliot shook his head. "Thanks for the offer, but with us catching tonight, it's easier if I go with her." He cleared his throat. "And I'm staying at her place, so..." He waved a hand and tossed a few bills on the bar. He turned his head. "You chipping in for this, Benson?"

She made a face, pretending to think. "You're the one going through a divorce," she grinned, "So no." She winked. "Pick that back up, it's already taken care of, I got it."

"What?" He furrowed his brow. "How did..." He saw her folding her arms, getting impatient, and he picked one of his discarded twenty-dollar-bills back up, leaving the other on the bar as a tip. "See you guys later," he said, nodding to Jeffries.

"Bye," Cassidy called, snappy. He'd felt ignored. He moved closer to Jeffries as he watched Olivia and Elliot leave the bar.

Once outside, Elliot grabbed Olivia by the arm and pulled her toward him. "Whipped cream?" he asked, a menacing grin on his face.

She laughed and pulled back, heading for the car. "I'm your ride? We walked from..."

"They were too drunk to realize that, and besides..." he paused and reached for her again, tugging. "You are...my favorite ride." When she was pressed against him, he inhaled deeply and moaned before kissing her, hard.

She protested for a moment, knowing her colleagues could walk out of the bar and see them any minute, but she melted into him and kissed him back, eagerly. "I don't scratch," she whispered.

He laughed. "Yeah, you do," he told her. "You're usually too, uh, preoccupied to notice but, baby, you've got a set of claws on you." He wrapped his arms around her and rocked his hips into her, rubbing his clothed erection against her hidden heat.

She moaned into his mouth, losing what little control she had. "We should get out of the middle of the sidewalk, here," she breathed.

"Maybe," he panted, pulling away from her. He yanked on his pants in an attempt to make them more comfortable against his straining cock. "What...what was that, in there?"

She eyed him as they began to walk. "I was...we flirt all the time, they don't think it means any..."

"You got jealous," he interrupted, smirking. He leaned closer to her, staying in step with her. "That crack about Jeffries...you know I don't have any feelings for..."

"I know," she sighed, looking away from him. She shoved her hands in her pockets and began walking a little faster. "I told you, part of me is afraid you're going to get..."

"Bored?" he finished for her. "You're the most...stop, look at me." He grabbed her shoulders and turned her toward him. He made sure she was looking at him, so she could see the truth. "You're the most exciting, adventurous, brilliant woman...and you're mine. You're everything to me, how could you even..."

"You heard those men, today," she said, looking away again. "Every guy we interviewed, they went to great lengths to have as much sex with as many women..." She stopped and looked back at him. "None of them believed in monogamy, and Faust and her girls gave them every fantasy they..."

"You are my fantasy," he whispered to her. "Even before I met you, you were the girl in every single fantasy, and when I did meet you? God, you took my breath away. Shit, you don't know what it's like to see the person you thought only existed in your head right in front of you."

She smiled at him. "Like hell I don't," she said with a laugh. "You're one to talk, though," she gave him a nudge and they started walking again. "You get jealous when a man even says my name and smiles at the same time. That guy this morning at the coffee shop, Cassidy, the bartender back there...Cassidy!"

"Yeah," he laughed. "Guess we just have too much of a hold on each other." He reached for her hand and linked his fingers with hers. "Kids are all packed. I have a hearing in a week, but other than that...it's almost over."

She nodded and tugged on his hand, getting him to turn the corner with her. "Did your lawyer say anything about..."

"Once I told him that your life was threatened," he interjected, "Even Kathy understood why I had to do what I did. It's not being held against me." He shook his head and looked up at the night sky, wishing he could see the stars. "We have time, I'm not saying we have to go on a hunt right this moment, but... I'm gonna need a place. I want a townhouse. Here. Close to work, close to...close to you."

She smiled and led him up the stairs of her apartment building. "We knew that," she said, swiping her card and opening the door. "Are you taking the kids trick-or-treating?"

"We are," he said, waiting for the stunned look he knew he was about to get.

She turned, her eyes wide. "What?"

He laughed. "Halloween is tomorrow, we're on call all weekend, it makes sense that you would be with me. Kathy has to show the house, and I can't handle the four of them on my own." He wrapped his arms around her and pushed her through the door, then walked still holding her toward the elevator. "You don't have to dress up."

She laughed as she hit the call button. "You're seriously asking me to go with you and the kids?"

"Who's asking?" he scoffed, pulling her into the elevator as the doors slid open. He wound a hand in her hair and pulled, kissing her roughly. He heard her moan and chuckled as his other hand moved down to cup her ass.

They kissed and grabbed each other, soft moans and confessions of love left their mouths and were swallowed by the kiss. He heard the bell go off and moved backward, taking her with him, unwilling to break away from her.

She fumbled around in her pocket for her keys, finding them and trying to open one eye and angle her head to see what she was doing. "El," she mumbled, his lips still firmly wrapped in hers.

He laughed and reluctantly let her go so she could open the door. He pulled her leather jacket off of her and hung it on the hook, watching her kick off her shoes.

She bit her lip and gave him an enticing look as she walked toward the bedroom.

"I'll be right in," he said, giving her ass a good slap. He laughed when she yelped and watched her slip out of sight. He ran toward the kitchen, opening the fridge. He grabbed a bottle off of the shelf and shook it, and then closed the refrigerator. He reached around his back and unclipped his handcuffs, and then, with a smug grin, he walked toward the bedroom.

She saw the look of pure lust on his face when he walked into the room, and then her eyes darted to his hands. "Whipped cream?" she questioned, a sly, sexy smirk on her face. She crooked a finger at him.

He wagged his eyebrows and tossed her the handcuffs, setting the can of cream on the dresser. He took his clothes off fast, keeping his eyes on her body. They traveled up and down her naked form and then landed on her perfect lips. When his pants fell around his ankles, he pounced, covering her body with his, kissing every inch of skin.

She moaned his name and let the handcuffs fall out of her hand. Her eyes shut tight as he pushed into her, his name flying out of her mouth. "Elliot," she purred, her nails skimming over the skin of his back.

"Baby," he breathed, picking up speed. He knew the sticky, sweet fantasy he'd originally planned would have to wait, taking a backseat to the one he was already living. He also knew that she didn't mind, at all.

 _ **Reviews are much appreciated, and very motivating.**_

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Jo.**_

 _ **MarchCommaJo - Twitter**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**I know this is not how it happened, but for the sake of the plot of this story, the changes are necessary. Please forgive me.**_

 _ **Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction.**_

Closure

She had been giving them both the silent treatment, for hours now. She was sitting at her desk, her eyes wandering from Elliot's face to Cassidy's, back again. The moments replaying in her head. She rubbed her forehead, her eyes clouded over in confusion and worry, and she heard Cassidy's voice again.

 _"How long you been sleeping with Stabler?" He had pulled her over to the side of the room, near the lockers. His heart was pounding and he prayed he was wrong, prayed she would tell him he was so, so very wrong._

 _She narrowed her eyes, folded her arms, and gave him a confused smirk, but the truth was she was suddenly feeling very sick. "Uh, I'm not."_

 _"Your stomach just dropped two floors, Olivia." He said her name as though it burned, spitting it out venomously. He took a breath, crossed his arms, and sighed. "The unconscious does not lie."_

 _"I'm not lying." Yes, she was. She looked over at Elliot, obliviously writing up a DD5. "Not much."_

 _"Mm-hmm." Cassidy scoffed, knowing that whatever had happened between the two was more than she would ever admit, to him or anyone else._

 _"Is it that obvious?" she asked, praying that it wasn't. If Cassidy could tell, then so could Cragen, and that was a headache she just didn't need._

 _Cassidy glared at Elliot for a moment, then looked back at Olivia. He shrugged and shook his head slightly, telling her it was just something he noticed. "He's your partner, for better or worse." He laughed at the way it came out, but then dropped his head, defeated. He tried to smile, but his heart was breaking. "Look everybody knows too much about everybody else in this office anyway."_

 _"I broke a rule, Cassidy. A personal one." She gave him an apologetic expression, hoping to convey that the reason she'd always rebuked his advances was, in fact, because she had that personal rule. Hoping he would just assume this thing with Elliot was nothing more than a one-night-stand. She bit her lip, and the pretense came easy to her. "And now he wants to see me again."_

 _He smiled at her, soft and sincere, wishing like hell he could make her forget all about Elliot Stabler. "Can you blame him?" he asked. He shot her another warm look, seeing the stunned expression on her face, and he turned, leaving her by the lockers, alone._

She sighed and rubbed her eyes. Her head was splitting and the paranoia had sunk into her so deeply that she hadn't said a single word to Elliot about anything except the case, for the last three days. Every time Cragen came out of his office, she'd made sure there was a solid foot between her and her partner. Frustration built, and as a result, they'd been combative, disagreeing on things and arguing over Harper Anderson's rapist's guilt, or was it innocence?

She looked at him, sitting across from her, a scowl on his face. Even his typing seemed angry. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She heard a small bang from the other side of the room, and she snapped her head toward the source. It was Cassidy, slamming things around on his desk and giving Elliot the stink-eye. She hadn't been having much luck dealing with him, either, since she'd finally let him know there was no hope of romance with her. He'd been bitter, resentful, snapping at her and demeaning Elliot. He almost blew the case because he couldn't separate his personal feelings from the case and its evidence.

She watched as Cassidy turned away, sticking his nose in a file. It was then that something else Cassidy had said to her echoed in her ears. Something that hurt, cut so deeply, that it could truly be the entire reason for her current frame of mind.

 _Cassidy had glared at her, harshly, and pointed at her. His voice dripped with hurt and a vile quality she couldn't place. "When you get married..."_

 _"If I get married," she cut him off, revealing part of her was afraid it was, in fact, an if._

 _Cassidy shook his head, disgusted, slanted his eyes at an even more evil-looking angle, and he hissed, "As long as you have this job, your marriage will be an affair."_

It was that last word, that final spattering from his voice, that had killed her. She blinked and swallowed hard, and she leaned over to Elliot. "Can we..."

"Yeah," he didn't even let her finish. He threw his chair back, stood up fast, and led her up the stairs to the bunk room. He pushed the door in, not bothering to hold it open for her, and he kept his back to her as he leaned against the metal frame of the first bed he saw.

Holding her breath, she closed the door and stepped closer to him. She trembled as she reached out her arms, and when her hands fell to his shoulders, she felt him relax. "Cassidy, he..."

"I know," he hissed, turning around. "I know what he said, and I know why, but fuck, why did you let him get to you? Huh?" He ran a hand down his face and glared at her. "You know me better than that, you know I...that this was never..."

She ran her hands up and down his back, trying to calm him. "I know, but hearing it...from him, after he figured out that we..."

"What we are, what we will be, is none of his fucking business," he interrupted, his eyes dark. "The only person you have to trust, have complete faith in, and believe...is me."

She nodded, choking back tears, again. "I know," she whispered, tears threatening to fall. "And I do." She slid her hands up his arms, up his neck, and cupped his face. "I love..."

Again, he didn't let her finish. He kissed her, his body enveloping hers, his arms pulling her against him as tightly as he could. His lips ravaged hers, one of the most deeply passionate and fervent kisses they'd shared. He spun her around and gave her a light push onto the mattress, climbing over her. He knew it couldn't escalate, but he needed this, taking it for what it was, right now. "Please, just say it."

"I love you," she whispered, arching upward and rubbing herself against him. She gripped him, almost begging him. With her teeth tugging on his bottom lip, she moaned his name and, again, she said those three words he needed so badly to hear.

He smiled as he kissed her again. "I love you," he breathed. He pressed into her and rocked his hips, making her moan, trying to prove that she had no reason to doubt it. No reason to doubt him. He pulled back, and then he panted, keeping his head against hers. "I...I do. So much."

She nodded, kissing his lips quickly. "God, El," she said, feeling him thrust against her again. She felt him stiffen, then, and noticed his eyes had gone red. He was on the verge of tears. She ran her hands through his short hair, nuzzled him, and asked, "Is everything okay? Besides...besides what happened with us."

He sniffled and shook his head as he sat up. "No," he said to her on a breath. He pulled her to a sitting position as shifted over to the edge of the mattress. "My lawyer called."

"Oh," she said with slight panic. "And?"

"The judge...thinks the kids are old enough to decide who...who they want to live with." He wiped his eyes and sniffled again. "We had a helluva Halloween, and thanksgiving is Thursday, but after that...I..." He shrugged, not wanting to voice the fear. With another sigh he got off the bed. He kept hold of her hand and said, "She, uh, well, we, I guess...we sold the house. Now we can start looking. I may, uh, need a co-signer. You know anyone who might wanna go halfsies on a townhouse with me?" He smiled, seeing the shock on her face.

She stood up, still staring at him, stunned. "Are you asking if..."

There was a swift knock on the door, preventing her from answering. "You two cooled off, yet?" Munch's voice carried through the heavy metal.

Elliot laughed and opened the door. "Yeah, we worked it out. What's up, man?"

"You caught something," Munch said, handing them a slip of paper. "On your way out, Stabler, can you slap some sense into Cassidy? He's starting to get under my skin."

Elliot narrowed his eyes and smiled. "Munch," he said, straightening his tie, "I absolutely can."

 _ **Reviews are much appreciated, and very motivating.**_

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Jo.**_

 _ **MarchCommaJo - Twitter**_


	11. Chapter 11

**_Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction._**

Bad Blood

"I'll kill him," he mumbled as he chewed. It was the fifth or sixth time he said it, shaking his head and gritting his teeth. "I think I'm kidding."

"I know you're completely serious," Olivia said, sighing. She put her carton of Chinese take away on the coffee table and ran one hand up and down his back, an attempt to calm him down. "Forget about Cassidy, okay? Some men...don't know how to handle rejection. With him, he was rejected, and on top of it he has to work with..."

"He's a fucking child!" he interrupted. "The way he's acting, what, he can't be professional? I mean, fuck, I have to act like I don't want to throw you up against the wall and fuck the ever-loving shit out of you while we're at work, that's not easy for me, but I do it don't I?"

"Breathe!" she snapped, trying to hide her laughter. She shook her head and pressed her lips together, slipping her roaming hand under his shirt. She traced circles on his skin and saw his eyes close and then slowly open. They were calmer, but darker.

"I am breathing," he grumbled, rolling his shoulders. "There's always been bad blood between me and him, and this just fucking makes me realize why." He shook his head and looked at her. "He's not cut out for this job, he's too fucking insensitive, and now he can't work with us like a normal person, because, what, you hurt his feelings?"

Olivia dug her nails deeper into his skin as she moved her fingers, hoping to work out some of the tension he'd built. "No one is asking you to be his buddy, and I certainly don't care if you like him or not, but please, for my sake, let it go. Just...let it go, okay?"

He nodded, moaning at her touch. "Yeah," he exhaled, moving closer to her.

She chuckled and made her drawn circles a bit bigger. "You've been, uh, very...defensive...the past two days." She kissed his forehead. "With Gunther..."

"The way he talked to you," he said, cutting her off again, "No one treats you like that. That smarmy son-of-a-bitch, he owed you more than just an apology, and you know, I would have made him really be sorry." There was fire in his eyes and his nostrils flared. "And he was looking at you like...God, I wanted to do more than just hurt him."

She dropped a trail of kisses down his face and placed a longer, deeper kiss on his lips. "I know," she whispered. She smiled when he moved again, capturing her lips in a much rougher kiss. Her hands moved from his back to his face, cupping it and running her thumbs under his eyes. Soft moans passed between them and she twitched in his arms as he worked his fingers up and under her sweater. She moaned again, into his mouth, feeling his wandering hands move lower, into her pants. She shivered when his cold palms cupped her ass and she bucked her hips, which only egged him on, tremendously.

"Baby," he panted, trying to control the urge to rip her clothes to shreds on the couch, needing to make it into the bedroom tonight. He pulled his lips away, but pressed his forehead against hers. Breathing heavily, he whispered, "You're...you're everything to me. And whatever I can do to protect you...from anything or anyone...I'm gonna do it." He nodded firmly and kissed her again, once.

She nodded back, returning his kiss, and she ran her hands through his hair as he nuzzled her. With a sigh and a soft smile, she said, "I know. I, uh, I heard what you said to Munch." She looked into his eyes, which had popped open wide. "It's okay, I just...I know why you told him, and I love you for it, I just...didn't really want..."

"I know," he said in a low, dejected whisper. He rubbed his head against hers, apologetically, and said, "I shouldn't have said anything. But he kept making these wisecracks, and I saw the look on your face, I couldn't...he needed to stop." He kissed her again. "Now, he's trying to..."

"I know he is," she said, interrupting him this time. "He won't come up with anything else. He's just going to run into the same dead-ends as we have." She kissed him. "But I love that he wants to, I know his heart is absolutely in the right place."

He tilted his head. "How did you know?" he asked, brushing her hair back. "How did you know that guy wasn't your father?"

"There was nothing about him that..." she paused, shaking her head. "I didn't feel anything, and he...didn't look anything like me." She took two slow breaths and looked into his eyes. "I just know." She kissed his cheek.

"Baby," he said, silencing her with another kiss, "Listen, we got wrapped up in the case, and I never got to finish asking you..." he took a breath and exhaled slowly, kissing her again. "I'm not asking you to move in with me, I know that...it's way too soon for that...but I want..." he inhaled sharply as he tried to find the words and the courage to speak. "I want your name on it. I'm not asking you to pay for it, not...not now. Eventually, we...yeah, you'll move in, and we will pay the mortgage together, but I just...if anything happens to me..." he stopped talking and sat up straight.

"What?" she prodded, sitting up herself and watching him stand with slight fear in her eyes. "What are you trying to say?"

He bit his lip and looked down at her, and then held out his hand. He waited, and then relaxed slightly when her hand fell into his. He squeezed and pulled her to her feet and into his arms. This kiss was different from any other tonight, his hands twisting into her hair and his strength pressing her against him. He moaned her name as his tongue moved with hers, his form curling around hers and begging her body to move backward toward the bedroom.

Before she would comply with his silent demand, she backed away and looked into his eyes. Her reddened, tingling lips flattened themselves together. "Talk to me," she panted, smoothing her hands over his chest.

"Filling out that insurance form today...again...made me realize..." he paused to close his eyes and take another deep breath. "If anything ever happens to me, I need to know the house and my kids are with you," he said quickly, his eyes still closed. "Please? Right now, it's just co-signing the loan, your name on a few sheets of paper."

"Oh, El, I..." she stopped, seeing the deep sincerity in his eyes and the hope in his crooked, imploring smile. "Of course. Whatever you need me to do."

"Shit, really?" he cried, relieved, hugging her tightly. He pushed her away a bit to look at her, his hands on her shoulders. "God, baby, thank you, so..."

She shut him up with a kiss, knowing he could probably feel her heart hammering through her chest against his, needing to prove the fear wasn't going to make her run from him this time. Her arms looped around his neck and she felt him pull her tightly to him. She moaned, feeling his erection press hard between her legs. She moved backward, then, keeping her mouth working with his. "You know," she whispered, "You don't need to thank me. Anything you need. Anything you want." She bit down lightly on his bottom lip and tugged with a soft growl. "The answer is always going to be 'yes,' El."

He chuckled as he pushed her playfully toward the bed. "Yeah?" he said, smirking at her."Anything?" he asked, teasing and wagging his eyebrows at her. He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it like a basketball into the hamper. He flicked open the button on his pants and let them drop with a plop. After he kicked them off, he jumped onto the bed, flattened himself out, and pulled her on top of him. "You are horribly overdressed," he teased, fingering the strap of her tank top.

She rolled her eyes and sat up straight, with one leg on either side of his waist. She undressed as she straddled him, pulling the top over her head. She jumped when his hands hit her bare skin, but moaned when he smoothed them over her body. She threw the shirt to the floor and rose up on her knees slightly to pull her flannel pants down. She looped her thumbs into the waistband but he swatted her hands away.

"My job," he said teasingly, and he pulled the cotton down over her hips, taking her underwear along for the ride. He kissed her once as he began slipping the fabric, and his hands, down her legs. He laughed when she kicked them off, and he said, "Eager, huh?"

She shrugged, tossed her hair to the side, and bent down to kiss him. "Tomorrow's Thanksgiving," she whispered, rocking her body against his.

He groaned, feeling her wetness begin to coat his cock as she rubbed against him. With one hand, he grabbed a hold of himself and shifted his weight, aiming right for her. He caught her eyes and watched her bite her lip, staring at her as she eased onto him. A shuddering moan escaped as he felt her encase him, and when she settled over him fully, he thrust his hips, as if proving he could somehow sink in further. He wrapped his hands around her hips and looked up at her. "You're spending it with me and the kids, you know that right?"

She gave him a slight rock of her hips, making them both moan, and she nodded. "I know," she whispered.

He grinned, but then squinted and let out a soft curse when she rocked her body again. "I hate that we have to go to a restaurant this year, but as long as we're all together, it's...it's going to be perfect. And, baby, we can go pick up your mother..." he watched her eyes change as the words left his mouth. "What? What'd I say?"

She shook her head and gave him a pressed smile. She moved her hands to cover his, linking their fingers as she began to rise and fall, keeping her eyes on him. She didn't speak. not out loud, but she mouthed the words, "I love you."

He uncurled one of his hands from hers and dragged it up her back, hooking it around her neck. He pulled her down again, kissing her hard as he began to raise his hips, thrusting upward. His other hand pulled away from hers and palmed over her ass, keeping her down, firmly, so he could slam upward into her with greater force. He heard their skin slapping together and it only made him work harder and faster.

She moved her lips, tilting her head a bit, and began to bite and suck at the throbbing vein in his neck, knowing it drove him mad. She felt him grip her body harder, not caring that the skin beneath his strong hands would be bruised in the morning. "Elliot," she purred into his ear, moaning.

"Fuck," he spat, giving her powerful thrusts, digging the soles of his feet into the bed's baseboard for leverage. Heat rose, building from the tips of his toes and coursing through his veins. He gripped a fistful of her hair and yanked her head back before crashing his mouth into hers. As he kissed her, he felt her tighten and clench around him, making thrusting difficult. He tried like hell, slamming up and into her, hard and deep, until he was squeezed into stillness.

She ripped her lips away from his and let out a cry of his name that, when it hit his ears, made him growl.

He watched her head fall back, her mouth open, and he lost the last bit of control he had. He drove into her once more, hard, and came with a violent curse. Every muscle in his body twitched and convulsed as he shot into her in spurts.

Her head fell forward, she looked at him with a drugged and hazy expression, as she, too, quivered and quaked, riding out another intense release on him. "Oh, my God," she breathed, falling forward limply.

He whipped his arms around her and peppered her face and head with soft kisses. "Jesus," he hissed, his hips jerking involuntarily, causing them both to shiver. "God, Liv," he whispered, shaking his head. "Damn."

She nodded, agreeing, and kissed his chest. "So good," she murmured, her voice reverberating against his skin.

"Fucking fantastic," he exhaled, kissing the crown of her head. He reached for the comforter, it had long ago been cast aside and was half-off of the bed, and he pulled it hard, letting it fall over them. He relaxed deeper into the mattress, chuckling at the fact that every move he made caused her to moan and whimper since he was still buried inside of her, and had no intention of pulling out. "I love you," he whispered, running his fingers through her hair and closing his eyes.

"I love you," she replied, a sleepy smile crawling over her face. She caught a glimpse at the clock on the bedside-table, and she sighed contentedly. "Happy Thanksgiving."

 _ **Reviews are always welcome.**_

 _ **Peace and love.**_

 _ **Jo**_

 _ **MarchCommaJo on Twitter**_


	12. Chapter 12

**_Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction._**

Russian Love Poem

"Let's go home, Olivia," Elliot sighed. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her toward him, and then began leading the way down the boardwalk, toward the pier where they'd parked. He looked around, taking a deep breath, and he shook his head.

"Some people consider death a blessing," she said as they stepped into their usual rhythm. "This was no blessing."

"What a mess," he breathed, scratching at the back of his neck.

She licked her lips and resisted the urge to grab his hand. Something about walking down the boardwalk with him made it feel like the natural thing to do, but the situation called for restraint and professionalism. "Blowing people's heads off because of some...vodka induced, third-rate notion of tragedy?"

"That's a lot of crap," he told her, shoving his hands in his pockets. "And for this...they come to America." He looked to his left, staring at the ocean, letting his gait slow and his breathing calm.

"What?" she asked, looking straight ahead. "I know you, what's up?"

He turned his lips downward and shook his head again. "Nothing. Nothing, I just..." he looked at her and said, "Under different circumstances, this would be really romantic. The waves, the fresh air, you and me on this pier... I really want to kiss you, right now. That...God, that sounds insensitive after watching someone kill himself. Please, don't think I..."

"I know;" she interrupted, biting her lip. "I mean, it would be...nice." She caught his eyes and smiled. "Ya know," she shrugged and smirked at him, "if we didn't just close a horrendous case and watch a man shoot himself in the chest."

"Kinda kills the mood," he chuckled, fishing around in his pocket for his keys. "But, uh, if you must know, with you...one look is all it takes, and then I'm right back to point break." He winked and clicked the button, disarming the alarm. He opened the passenger side door for her, watched as she got in, said, "Buckle up," and slammed the door.

He ran around and got into the driver's seat, closed his door, hooked his seatbelt, and as he started the car, he turned to look at her. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"I've seen worse," she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "I've...I've caused worse." She narrowed her eyes. "You've never apologized before, what's going..."

"It's different," he interrupted. "I know...with what we do, there's no room for sympathy, but I knew it was gonna happen. I knew, and I can't help feeling like I should have shielded you from it, somehow."

"I'm a big girl, Stabler," she said, her tone teasing but her eyes serious. "You can't shield me from this shit. You can't even try." She felt a tug at the corners of her lips. "But, uh, you can make me forget it."

He winked at her. "Oh, I promise you, I will. Every night. All night long," he affirmed with a nod as he finally set the car in reverse and pulled out of the parking space. He cleared his throat as he began to drive, heading home. "So, uh, my lawyer called." He pressed his lips together and turned the wheel, turning onto the highway. "And...I put a bid in on that townhouse we went to look at the other day. I told you, right?"

She hummed. "Did you get it?"

"We," he said, smiling. "We got it." He looked over at her, and he saw her eyes shining brightly as she returned his smile. "Thank you. I wouldn't have...if it was just me, but because you..."

"I told you not to thank me," she said, holding up a hand. "Partners, right? For better or worse." Her smile faded a bit, mixed emotions forming as those words left her mouth. When Elliot had said them, they filled her with love and hope, a promise of things going right for once in her life. But when Brian Cassidy had spat them at her, mockingly and almost angrily, she'd felt nothing but guilt.

"Liv," he said, garnering her attention. "I know where you just went, and don't...okay? This is...we are...perfect." He smiled, reached his right hand out and took hold of her left, and said, "I don't want you to think that I'm taking you for granted. Everything you do, everything you are...I'm beyond grateful, and so blessed."

She squeezed his hand and shook her head. "If you're trying to woo me, it's working." She grinned. "That was poetic."

"It was honest," he told her, slapping the blinker bar and changing lanes.

"You said your lawyer called?" She had been waiting for him to get back to it, but grew tired of worrying. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh, uh...yeah, yeah," he nodded. "Kids are spending Christmas with Kathy." He looked at her, his lip caught between his teeth. "But, uh, then...they're gonna have to get used to hanging out with you on a daily basis, pretty fast."

Her brow furrowed. "Me? Why?"

"Because," he said with a deep breath and a smile that reached his eyes, "For two weeks a month, they're gonna have to put up with you."

Her eyes widened. "Are you saying..."

"Kids talked to Kathy, and her lawyer, and the judge already said he would let them decide. I can't get them full out, not with...not with this job. I didn't even think I was going to actually get joint custody, but, uh...someone called the guy, on my behalf, and whatever she said gave him the reassurance he needed that I wouldn't be attempting to handle four kids on my own." He gave her a knowing smirk.

She blushed a little and looked down at her lap. "What makes you think it was me?"

"Baby," he said, rolling his eyes. He laughed and took the exit for the bridge, familiar territory coming into view. "You didn't have to do that. You put yourself out there for me again and I..."

"It wasn't a lie," she butted in, "and I didn't mean to step on any toes or overstep my bounds..."

"Hey," he stopped her, "You didn't. What you said...means I still get to be a father to my kids, and you have no idea how afraid I was that...I was gonna lose them."

She was quiet for a moment. And still. She traced the lines in his hand with her fingertips before speaking. "Yeah, I do." She swallowed. "I'm not a heavy sleeper, Elliot. When you get up in the middle of the night, when you pace around the bedroom and talk to yourself..."

"You heard me?" he questioned, embarrassed and slightly horrified. "Oh, shit, Liv! How much did you..."

"Relax," she said, giving his hand another squeeze. "If I heard anything I didn't like, would I still be here?" She watched him roll tension out of his neck and heard him clear his throat. "In fact, there were moments where I thought you knew I was awake because it sounded like you were talking to..."

"You," he nodded. "I was. Sort of. But in the interest of fairness, now you have to let me in on a few of your biggest fears and deepest secrets." He linked his fingers with hers and tugged, bringing her hand to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand twice and smiled at her, and then dropped her hand to turn the wheel, heading down the street on which her apartment stood.

"You know all of them," she told him with a befuddled expression. "Well, except..." She stopped, waiting until he had turned into her building's garage and parked in an empty space. She held her breath as he turned his head and when she looked into his blue eyes, she was completely lost. "Losing you. That...that terrifies me. Not just...I could go back to the way things were, if I had to, I could stay on the sidelines of your life if I needed to...but I cant lose you completely." She looked at him with upturned eyes and a half-pathetic smile. "I don't know who I am without you, that person has been gone for too long, and I don't..."

"You'll never have to," he told her, stopping her from having to bring up something painful for both of them. "I'm pretty fucking sure you heard me say the same damn thing, so...this has to work." He poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue and studied her for a moment. "We already work. Pretty fucking perfectly."

She gave him a smile and nodded, and then moved to unhook her seat belt. He grabbed her before she could open her door. "El, what are you..."

He slammed his mouth over hers, quieting her voice and her fears. His hands roamed over the hills and valleys of her body he could reach as he fumbled to pull her over the center console of the car.

She moved when he grunted in frustration, hopping over and landing in his lap. "You're crazy," she chuckled, working on his belt buckle.

"Me?" He laughed heartily and gripped her hips, holding her still on his body with one large hand as they other tugged down her slacks. "You're the one making more of this than I intended."

"Oh, I know what you intended," she said, one eyebrow raised. She slipped her hand into his loosened pants, grabbing him and stroking his length to fuller hardness.

They moaned, together, as they flailed and jerked, like teenagers parked on Makeout Point, rushing to get things accomplished before curfew. Clothes were torn off and thrown into the back seat, her back arched as her hips rose, and he cursed under his breath when she lowered herself onto him.

"Fuck," he hissed, watching her body settle against his. Deep within her, his cock twitched, eagerly anticipating what was about to happen. He looked into her eyes, in awe of the flood of emotions he saw in them. He bucked upward, biting his lip and grinning at her. "You forget, yet?"

She gasped slightly, both because he had just thrust again and because she now realized why this was happening in the maroon sedan, in a parking garage. "Just about," she teased, raising herself up before slinking down on him again.

He moved his hands up her body, under her shirt, cupping her bra-covered breasts and squeezing hard. He nearly came at the look on her face and the moan that came from her throat. "God, damn, baby," he ground out, palming her breasts again. He moved one hand, out from under her shirt and around her neck, and he pulled her down hard.

She kissed him, fiery and intensely, and her own hands clutched at the fabric of his shirt. This is what he'd promised, to always make her forget the Hell they were living in, reminding her that, as long as they were together, they had a bit of Heaven. "I love you," she whispered against his lips.

"Shit, I love you, baby," he panted hard, feeling her body hit his over and over. "So fucking much."

She stared down at him, pressing her head to his as he moved her body. Her eyes focused on his and she felt herself begin to burn and throb. "El," she warned.

"I know," he said through gritted teeth. "I feel you." He moaned her name when she clenched around him, tightening like a velvet-lined vice around his cock. "God," he breathed, and then with one final slam, he kissed her, muffling the sounds of their almost simultaneous cries.

He shot into her, feeling himself pulsing and firing. His hands splayed over her back and he held her to him.

She rocked against him, riding him as she came hard, her lips and tongue dueling with his, not sure if it would be more pleasurable to win or lose.

He laughed against her lips as his body stopped its spasms. He held her close, feeling her heartbeat through her clothes against his chest. He ran his fingers through her now-damp hair, languidly kissing her, as if they had all the time in the world.

The phones ringing, obnoxiously, from the bottom of a pile of clothes in the backseat reminded them that they didn't. It made them treasure what little time they were able to scrounge for themselves all the more.

"Back to work," she said sadly, kissing him one last time.

"Taking them off was easy," he said, slapping her ass as she pulled herself off of him, "But how the hell are we supposed to put our pants back on in the car?"

She laughed with him, and looked at the easy smile on his face. That word had never described her life before. Easy? Easy was something that didn't even come to her in dreams, always seeming far out of reach. Now she knew. She had it. Easy, she realized, only existed with him, and she was determined to hold onto it.

 ** _Reviews are encouraging and welcome._**

 ** _Peace and Love._**

 ** _Jo_**

 ** _MarchCommaJo on Twitter_**


	13. Chapter 13

**_Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction._**

Disrobed

Elliot had been staring at Olivia, in the seat next to him, for five solid minutes. Five solid, and silent, minutes. He licked his lips before he spoke. "Are you..."

"Don't." Her word was firm. Final. Almost too harsh and more bitter than she'd meant it. "Don't ask me if I'm okay. Nothing about this is okay."

He nodded, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. He rested his hand in the curve of her lower back, rubbing in slow, soft circles. "You know...the first time I shot a perp..." he paused and looked at her. "Did I tell you this story?"

Not looking at him, she shook her head. Her shoulder length locks swished against her ears, bits fell into her eyes, but she was focused on the foreboding oak door in front of her, behind which Ed Tucker, her IAB Sergeant, and Captain Cragen were discussing her professional future. She tapped her foot and bounced her knee, her shot nerves showing face.

Elliot pressed into her back a bit harder as he said, "Well, my partner at the time wasn't...let's just say he was more concerned that I got blood on his shoes than the fact that I'd just killed someone. He made me give him fifty bucks for new ones before we left the scene."

She looked at him. "Seriously?"

He nodded, dragging his hand lower and slipping his fingers under her shirt and jacket. He moaned softly at the skin-to-skin contact, leaned close to her, and said, "My priority here is you. So I'm gonna ask you again. Are you all right?"

She nodded. "I didn't have a choice, he was gonna...he aimed his gun. I reacted."

He kissed her temple and nodded, brushing his head against hers. "Yeah, you did. I was right there. So were two uniforms and a living, breathing victim who thinks of you as her guardian angel now." He smoothed his hand up and down her spine and said, "There was nothing else you could have done, and that's exactly what I told Tucker."

"This day has been absolute shit," she hissed, turning away from him again. "I kill Silver, come back here to Tucker treating me like a criminal, and Brian took the hell off..."

"I told you," he said, stopping her, "He couldn't handle the job, it had nothing to do with..."

"It had everything to do with me," she said, interrupting him. "You heard him yesterday, El. He was...he was so...mad. I tried to joke around with him and he snapped at me. He was so...vicious." She shook her head, jostling a tear loose and causing its descent down her cheek.

"He didn't leave the unit because of you," he whispered to her. "He left because he didn't have the right composition for the job. He couldn't take it, and no matter how much time he spent here, that'd never change." He brought his free hand up to her face, letting his knuckle brush away her tear. "Nothing that happened today was your fault," he told her. "Shooting Silver...that was part of the job, and you saw me, too, Liv, if you didn't have a faster trigger-finger than me, I would have..." he cleared his throat, unsure of why he now had the urge to cry, "I saw him aim the gun at you and, fuck, I wasn't letting him out of that laundry room alive."

She turned her head up toward him, her elbows resting on her knees, her hands folded. She gave him a sad, flat smile. "Why do you think I took the shot?" She bit her lip. "Tucker's already up your ass about God knows what, you didn't need this," she whispered. "I just...I took a life, tonight, Elliot, and that...that never gets any easier."

"No," he said, laughing bitterly, "It doesn't." He heard the door before him open and he pulled his hands away from Olivia. Reflexively, they both shot to their feet. Elliot nodded at Cragen and Tucker, holding his breath.

Tucker moved toward Olivia, her badge and gun in his hands. "These...these belong to you, Benson." He held them out to her. "As painful as it is to hear, you did what was absolutely necessary. It was a clean kill. Justifiable."

Letting out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding, she said, "Thank you," and eagerly took her gun and badge, hooking them back onto her hip where they belonged. She shook like a leaf as she held out her hand to Tucker.

He gripped it firmly for a moment, nodded once to Elliot, and walked away, not bothering to look over his shoulder, not caring enough. Cragen sighed and looked at Elliot, then at Olivia. "Rough night."

"That's an understatement," Olivia chuckled, running her hand along her forehead. "What do you need from me?"

"Well, Munch already took your statement, you've been cleared of any misconduct," Cragen said, folding his arms. "What I need you to do is tell me if you think you need to see Doctor Huang, then go home and get some sleep."

She shook her head. "I don't need George," she said, biting her lip. "I just need to...I need to calm down, and...deal with everything."

"Tucker was right, Olivia," Cragen said, attempting a fatherly smile. "You couldn't have done anything differently. Not about Silver, and not about Cassidy." He saw the shock in her eyes and he nodded at her. "I, uh, I know he had feelings for you. I know...or at least, I'm assuming, they were only feelings, on his end. But that's not why..." he licked his lips. "It was my call. I knew he couldn't stomach this, and we need more people who can do this job like...well, like the two of you."

"Thanks, Captain," she said, giving him a small smile. She turned and walked down the hall, knowing that after Elliot shook Cragen's hand, he would follow. She made it to the elevator when she heard his heavy footfalls. She smiled to herself as the metal door slid opened with a grating squeak. She walked into the small box, knowing he was right behind her, and as soon as the doors were closed, she felt herself being yanked into his arms.

"God," he breathed, holding her tight. "You're okay. I told you, nothing would...I'm never gonna let anything happen to you. I swear." He kissed the top of her head, her forehead, her nose, and then her lips. He held her still while he looked into her eyes. "Are you? Tell me the truth."

"I'm fine," she said, it came out breathless and harsh, but she nodded. She curled her fingers around the collar of his wool coat and buried her head in his chest. "Please, just...don't let go of me." She hated the words, she hated saying them, and she hated feeling so miserably pathetic and needy.

He shook his head as he tightened his hold on her, and he whispered, "Never. I promise." He closed his eyes as he rested his chin on top of her head. "I am never letting you go."

They heard the ding of the elevator before they felt it come to a jerking halt. Before the doors opened, they shared a soft kiss, not concerned with it ending up on the security video, not tonight. He ran one hand down the side of her body, his fingers curling around her gloved hand. He smiled at her and pulled her out of the elevator, eager to get her home and into bed. "You hungry?"

She raised an eyebrow. "A night like this, you ask if I could eat?"

He chuckled. "Okay, I'll order a pizza when we get to the car." He winked at her and watched her lips curl, and he began to walk a little faster. He pushed the precinct doors open and the freezing night wind whirled around him. Instinctively, he tugged her into him, wrapping her up and shielding her from the cold. He furrowed his brow as he buttoned her coat and wrapped her maroon scarf around her neck.

She was giving him a concerned look, her brows knitted but a smirk on her face. She returned the favor, tightening the loop on his black scarf and buttoning his coat. She linked their fingers again and tugged gently, getting him to move again in the direction of their car. "Thank you," she said.

"For what?" he asked, digging his keys and cell phone out of his pocket.

She sighed. "I don't know. Not making me pay for new shoes." She laughed and squeezed his hand before having to let it go. She got into the passenger side of the car, half- listening as he ordered their pizza, not listening at all to the address he gave. She pulled off her gloves but didn't buckle her seat belt just yet. When he got in, got settled, and hung up the phone, she made her move.

"I got us a large..." he was cut off by her lips crashing into his, her body falling onto him. He moaned and wrapped his arms around her, the stun wearing off and giving way to pure comfort and need. He swirled his tongue against hers, one hand winding into her hair. He tugged on it, just hard enough to pull her mouth away from his. "Wait till we get home," he said, grinning. "You know, kissing you, always leads to..."

She didn't let him finish; she kissed him again, this time with more desperation. She clawed at his back and tried to wrap herself around him, despite the car's console being in the way. "I love you," she said, giving up the fight and resting her head against his. "I need you to know that I..."

"I know you do," he said, kissing her lips once again. "I love you, too." He gave her three more soft kisses and tried to regulate his breathing as he watched her fall back into her seat. He pulled the seat belt on, took another deep breath, and started the car. He felt the fabric of his pants tightening, the tingle of his lips with the remains of her kiss on them, and he peeled out of the parking lot with a screech.

"Slow down," she chided from the passenger seat. She saw the look in his eyes and knew why he was speeding. "Baby, please."

He let his foot off the gas just slightly, keeping his fists wrapped tightly around the wheel, his knuckles turning white. "One kiss," he spat. "One fucking kiss and you've got me harder than a choir boy in a porn shop, you know that? You have no idea what you do to me."

She smirked. "I know exactly what I do to you," she said. "I do it on purpose." She reached for his leg, dropping her palm over his knee.

"Shit," he huffed, shaking his head. He turned the wheel and turned down a narrow street, then made a sharp left turn, again causing the tires to squeal.

She gave him an inquisitive look, raising a brow. "Aren't we going to your..."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "We'd never make it. I'd pull over and disrobe you in the fucking back seat." They shared a laugh as he made the final turn and veered into the parking deck beside Olivia's building. He pulled into a spot, ripped the keys out of the ignition, and practically leaped out of the car. He ran around and opened the door for her, reaching in and wrenching her out of her seat. He laughed when she yelped, and then he kicked the door closed and pushed the button on the alarm. Hearing it beep, he shoved Olivia forward, urging her toward the stairwell faster.

"Okay, Mister Impatient," she teased, laughing. She swiped her card, opening the door, and the pair bolted up the stairs, Olivia squealing every time Elliot gave her ass a thwack in an effort to make her fly. "Okay okay," she said, swatting his hands away. "We're here, can you stop so I can..."

"Too slow." He kissed her hard as his hand worked his copy of her key into the lock. He turned the knob and pushed her into the dark apartment. He kicked off his shoes and let his coat fall to the floor, his lips still attached to hers. He peeled her scarf off and threw it down, and then popped the buttons on her coat. He tugged it off of her, using his knee to nudge her toward the bedroom.

She kept her eyes on his as she began to take off her shirt. She could tell by the way he moved, his breath was starting to quicken and his pulse began to race. Biting her lip, she saw him tearing off his own clothes, letting each bit of fabric fall to the hardwood without a care. She gasped, though, when he pushed her onto the bed and wrapped the waistband of her pants in his hands.

He pulled hard, tugging and sliding the pants down her legs and off of her body. He did the same with her cotton underwear, moaning when he caught sight of her freshly waxed skin. Kissing her inner thighs, he let the curled up cotton fall out of his hand and splayed his palms over her stomach. He felt her muscles clench and twitch as he dropped teasing kisses along her pelvis, and he almost came when he heard the cry of his name she let loose when he licked her wet, hot slit.

"Oh, my God," she wheezed, her hands flying to the back of his head. She scratched and clawed at his neck and scalp as he continued to work her over. She moaned every time his tongue slid upward, trailed down, and when he wrapped his lips around her clit, she arched off the bed with a curse.

Chuckling, he pressed his palms into her body, easing her back down onto the mattress. He moved away from her now-aching pussy, slinking up her body as he licked his lips and moaned in satisfaction, and when he met her, nose to nose, he used his knee to spread her legs a bit more, watching her eyes darken in lustful anticipation. He smiled, and he could tell at the way she shivered beneath him that she needed this as much, if not more than he did. He lowered his head, kissed her, and gave a swift thrust of his hips, pushing into her.

Her hands gripped his head and she rocked her body upward into his, taking him in deeper, completely. She clung to him, wrapping her legs around his powerful thighs. She needed to feel all of him, inside of her, surrounding her. She needed to be consumed tonight. She nibbled lightly on his lower lip and then whimpered as he moved in short, slow thrusts, because she wouldn't let him pull away anymore.

Each hit caused him to sink deeper and deeper into her, their kiss breaking every so often when her head dropped back and she moaned his name. "God, baby," he breathed, an answer to her cries. He kissed her neck, her chin, her cheeks, finally kissing her lips again and bringing her back to the moment. Backing up a bit, he looked at her, holding her gaze, seeing his life in her eyes as he reached new depths of her body and soul.

Her hands, trembling now, moved to the sides of his face, and she held him still, watching his expression, watching his eyes as the pressure built within him. "Please," she said, a whisper, feeling a tear rolling down her cheek.

"What, baby?" he whispered back, kissing away the rolling droplet, trailing his lips over her face until he reached her lips again. He let his tongue trace the seam of her lips before asking, "What is it?"

"Don't stop," she moaned, kissing him again. "Please...don't..."

"Never," he said, taking her request to mean more than just this single, incredible act of love. He clenched his ass and tightened his thighs, gaining leverage, and he thrust as hard as he could into her, slowly dragging his body over her clit every time, making her whimper and cry his name over and over, the way hers had been leaving his lips. He felt her clamp around him, tightening, her body sucking him in even deeper. He felt her begin to pulsate and quake and he was ready to follow her off the edge.

She saw it in his eyes, and she pressed her lips together and nodded. Digging her nails into him, she shuddered and cried, "Oh, God, yes, Elliot!"

He growled and croaked out her name again, this time as he slammed into her hard, his pelvis fully pressing against hers, and he let go, firing into her. "Liv, Liv, Liv," he whispered, each moan of her name falling in time with a pulsing shot. "Oh, God," he breathed, rolling his body against hers one last time as a short, but fierce aftershock ripped through him. He looked down at her, and he claimed her lips in another long, deep kiss. He could still feel her vibrating and trembling, still cumming, for him.

Her hands loosened their grip on his skin, but they stayed clinging to him. She whined and winced when she felt him moving, still inside of her, to roll them over. She kissed his chest as he fell onto his back, but didn't make any attempt to move away or let go of him. "God, you...you are incredible."

He kissed her forehead, brushing her damp hair back. "Only with you. You make me incredible, because you are...so fucking amazing."

She found the energy to look at him, kiss his lips, and say, "You just...you make all the bad in my life just...go away."

"And I will," he told her, a promise made and sealed with a kiss, "For the rest of my life. I swear to you." He kissed her again. "Right now, baby, if you need to...I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere, I got you, and..." he looked into her eyes. "I'm not ever gonna let you go."

She kissed him again, but this time, it was what she needed to finally break. She knew why he was so insistent, why he got them back to her place and loved her so deeply, so intensely. He was proving that he wasn't going to fault her for anything, and that he was telling the truth when he told her she was his priority. She let the kiss deepen, her tongue tangling with his for another moment, until she pulled away, looked down at him, and watched him nod. It was then that she took a shaky breath, dropped her head into the bend of his neck, and did something she'd needed to do for hours.

She cried.

 ** _Peace and Love_**

 ** _Jo_**

 ** _MarchCommaJo on Twitter_**


	14. Chapter 14

**_Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction._**

Limitations

"I feel like shit," Olivia complained, kicking off her shoes, not caring that they hit the wall. She looked around at the place, sighing. She stepped over boxes and piles of clothes on her way to the bedroom. "You picked a helluva time to move, El," she grumbled. She rubbed her tired eyes and fell onto the mattress, shaking her head as she peeled off her socks. "You like the place so far?"

Elliot, who had walked into the bedroom a few seconds after her, plopped onto the bed next to her and began to untie his shoes with a small smile and a nod. "It's great," he said. "When the kids are here, it's gonna be even..." he sighed heavily, looked at her, and whispered, "Thank you."

She smiled at him. "I told you not to thank me," she said, standing. Her hands moved to the waistband of her pants, but Elliot's fingers wrapped around hers and pulled them away. He hooked a finger through her belt loop and pulled, then took it upon himself to unzip them and work them down over her hips. He looked up at her, wide-eyed and hopeful, and he grinned when she stepped out of the pants and moved closer to him.

Her hands slid up his shoulders, trailed up the sides of his neck and face, and cupped around his head. She scratched lightly at his scalp and raked her nails through his short hair, looking down at him as he slowly pushed her underwear off of her body. She moaned softly, feeling his hands slide back up her thighs, coming to rest on the cheeks of her ass.

He squeezed the flesh in his palms and pulled her even closer to him. With him still sitting on the bed, he nuzzled against her stomach for a moment before curling his wrists around the backs of her thighs and tugging her legs apart. A growl escaped as he bent his head and brought her body to meet his mouth. His tongue swiped upward, sliding into her wet heat.

"Oh, God," she whispered, her head falling backward. She pressed her lips together, keeping the cry of ecstasy that was building in her throat from erupting too soon. "What are you..." her final thoughts were lost on a moan and a gasp as she felt his lips wrap around her clit. Goosebumps surfaced as she became aware two Elliot's fingers had joined his mouth in their plight to consume her.

"You taste so fucking good," he garbled with a mouth full of her. His left hand, still clutching her ass, squeezed harder and forced her tighter against his face as he sucked and licked with more fervor. He'd never had any desire to go down on a woman, not until Olivia, and now it was something he craved all the time. To him, she was intoxicating, addictive, essential to his survival. The last week had been hell, work had been hectic and rough, and they'd run themselves ragged trying to get to the bottom of a case before time ran out. They had been split up and scattered, and it pushed them both to their absolute limits. He needed to devour her, make her come completely unraveled, over and over again. He was desperate for it, needing to wipe the last five days away and stake new and reaffirmed claim to his partner.

Shaking now, she fell forward into him, using all of her strength to climb up on him. One knee dropped to the mattress, forcing him to fall onto his back. She yelped, flying with him, and her other leg fell to the side of his face.

He growled again, loving how she was now straddling his neck, thighs pressed against his ears. He looked up, fighting to see her eyes, and watched her trembling hands tug and pull at her shirt, tearing it off and tossing it to the floor. He moaned, a whimper, really, as he witnessed her reach back to unhook her bra and the reverberating groan that he let fly when he saw her drop the silk to the side made his whole body rumble.

"Oh, my God," she cried, responding to the way the vibrations of his voice felt against her tender clit. As much as she tried to resist, she reflexively rocked her hips, grinding down onto his open, working mouth. She felt hims bucking and wriggling beneath her, and when she dropped her eyes, she chuckled.

He was attempting to throw his pants off using just his feet, and was doing a fine job of it. "Baby," he mumbled, "Little help?" He lightly grazed his teeth over her clit, making her rise up and squeal. He grinned, lifting his body, and shucked his pants off with a deft movement. His eyes popped open wider when he felt her cold fingers wrap around his throbbing cock. He knew the position she was in had to be a sheer vision, and he wished like hell he had a mirror on his wall so he could see the way her body arched as she leaned back to stroke him.

"El," she breathed, rocking again, harder. "El, oh, God," she panted. He was going to pull her over the edge, and she was going to love every blissful second if it.

"Fuck, yes," he spat, twisting his fingers inside of her. He let his tongue flick over her clit faster, determined to make her cum. He could feel her hand moving faster, gripping him tighter, his body fighting against her in a vain attempt to wait until he was sheathed inside of her. A guttural moan and sharp cry of his name hit his ears and a new torrent of amazing juices filled his mouth. He lapped them up greedily and when he felt her violently trembling, he grunted and flipped her over.

Still reeling, she shivered and twitched as he crawled up and over her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard, moaning.

He lifted her right leg, chuckling against her lips when she hooked it around his waist. He deepened the kiss as he pushed into her, loving the keening sounds she gave him as he inched further into her. "Baby," he breathed, burying himself with a hard thrust, "I love you." His hips moved faster, harder, frenetic and powerful like the pistons of a steam engine.

"Oh, my God," she wailed, her back arching again. Her nails dug into his back and scratched, gouging deep grooves into his skin. She could be with him like this forever. She hoped she would be. "Elliot, baby, God."

He moved deeper, harder, attempting to reach the ends of her soul. "Look at me," he commanded, his body elevating a bit. He looked down at her, into her eyes, soft, soundless grunts falling from his partly opened lips. The frustration of the last few days seemed to dissolve with every move he made, the world falling around them, destroying everything except for here, now, with her.

She kept her eyes open, though they rolled all the way back, and her toes curled as fire coursed through her. "So close, right there, don't fucking stop," she wheezed. Her jaw dropped as she craned her neck to press her head against his.

With open eyes, he gave three more powerful bucks of his body and felt her clench. The noise that seemed to be ripped from her throat sent his nerves into overdrive and triggered a switch inside him, allowing him to thrust through her tightness and bring another thunderous release on the heels of the one she was still riding out. "Fuck, baby, yes!" his voice encouraged.

She knew he was close, she could tell in the way he moved, the seething breaths he took between clenched, grinding teeth. "El, please," she begged, tears threatening to form in her burning eyes, her wracked body quivering.

"Oh, fuck, fuck!" he choked, slamming into her one more time before stopping. freezing, and cursing under his breath. A fierceness in his eyes as he held her gaze, and the undulating of his body over hers, were his tells. He was cumming, hard, buried fully inside of her. He dropped lower, twitching and jerking, dotting her face and neck with quick kisses. He stayed where he was, flesh to flesh with her, and with the last dregs of energy he could muster, he got a grip on her body and rolled onto his back.

Still panting, and trembling slightly, she placed soft kisses to his chest as she nestled against him. Her eyes closed and her chest heaved. As she tried to regain composure and regulate her breathing, she understood, without a doubt, that with him, there were no limitations. She would give him anything, everything, all of herself, in every way, just as he would give it all to her. "I love you," she whispered, her limp and spent body splayed over his.

He brushed her hair back, his chest rising and falling as her head rested against it. "I love you, baby," he returned. "So fucking much."

There were a few moments of blissful silence, soft kisses and light moans passing between them, and the ringing of their cell phones almost went on ignored.

Almost.

 ** _Peace and Love_**

 ** _Jo_**

 ** _MarchCommaJo on Twitter_**


	15. Chapter 15

**_Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction._**

Entitled

 _"The crime scene is a big grope spot," Olivia had said, picking at her nails and trying to remain professional._

 _Elliot smirked, leaned back in his chair, and said, "Romantic," he paused and his eyes brightened. "Teenagers, honeymooners," he turned and gave Olivia a smokey look, meaningful, as he said, "Coworkers."_

 _She looked back at him, returning his hazy stare, but inside, she was screaming. What the hell did he just say?_

She shook the memory away, cleared her throat, and finished signing her name at the bottom of the last page of her report. She sighed as she closed the folder, slid it toward the middle of her desk, and slumped in her chair. "Done," she said, running her hands through her hair. "Now, uh, you wanna tell me what you were trying to pull the other day?"

"Excuse me?" he scoffed, raising a brow at her. He'd paused in the middle of scrawling his name somewhere on one of his own pages. "What the hell are you talking about?"

She looked around, satisfied the room was empty enough, and she leaned forward, toward him. "You know how many times Munch asked how we even knew about that place? The looks I got from Cragen? It was..."

"Oh, Jesus," he rolled his eyes and folded his arms. "I didn't do it on purpose, it just slipped out! I knew...as soon as the words left my mouth..." he stopped, licked his lips, and shook his head. "We do have some pretty incredible memories of that spot," he teased, wagging his eyebrows. Then, he shrugged and twisted his mouth into a nonchalant smile. "People know, anyway," he told her. "You know they do. They're not saying anything, either out of respect or fear of being wrong, but they know. Besides, uh, I think I'm entitled to flirt with you. I always have been, I always will be." He winked at her, blew her a kiss, and got back to his paperwork.

She sat stone-faced for a moment, but then she smiled. "You bastard," she laughed. "Hurry up, would you? I'm hungry, I'm tired, and, uh, I wanna go to bed."

His head stayed bent, but his eyes turned up toward her. They were dark, dangerous, and a sly grin crawled over his face. "What a coincidence," he said. "So do I." He flipped the pages faster, initialing and signing sloppily. He slammed the file closed and stood up, tugging on his tie. "Ready when you are."

She shook her head at him, a smile plastered on her face. "You're too much, sometimes," she told him, standing. She tilted her head when she saw him grab her jacket, and she softened when he held it out for her. "You're in a mood," she whispered, grinning as she let him help her on with her coat.

"I missed this," he whispered back, squeezing her tight when he wrapped her in the leather jacket. He closed his eyes and breathed her in, sighing when he had to step back. "I missed you, baby," he told her. "I hate these long cases. I hate nights up in the crib, no privacy, and I can't...do all of the amazing things you know I want to do with you." He narrowed his eyes. "To you."

A shiver ran down her spine and she turned, eager to leave and get home, ready to make up for lost time. "Well, Briscoe and Green took over, so our end of the case, at least, is closed. We have plenty of time to...uh, do all of those wonderful things floating around in your head." She took a slow breath and exhaled just as lazily. "At least until Monday."

"Monday," he spat. "Shit." He walked with her toward the elevator and punched the call button, clearly frustrated about something.

"What?" she asked, concerned. Reflexively, she ran a hand down his arm, attempting to calm him. "What's up?"

He sighed and looked at her as the metal doors slid apart. He pulled her into the elevator and into his arms. "Final hearing. Monday, seven-thirty, just me and Kathy and two lawyers. What if she..."

"Hey," she said in a low voice, dropping her head against his. "Your lawyer said you had almost a guaranteed win, here. You don't owe her anything, and you both have the same claims. She can't make this..."

"She's been doing a lot of mud-slinging," he interrupted. "She's telling anyone who'll listen that I was a neglectful husband and shit provider, she's calling me out on the number of times work took me away from the kids...fuck, all of our friends already think I've been cheating on her for..."

"El," Olivia had to cut him off, laughing and giving him a questionable look.

He looked at her and shrugged, half-defeated. "Well, they shouldn't think it, even if it's true. Kathy doesn't even really know for sure. No one...I know we fucked up, but it wasn't...it was for the right reasons." He took both of her hands, looked down at them as he ran his fingers over her knuckles, and he said, "I'm so in love with you, it hurts. I didn't ask for it, I certainly didn't plan it, but it happened, and despite the shit Kathy is putting me through, I'm happier than I have ever been." He looked up into her eyes. "You...it's all you, and I need you to know...I wouldn't change a damn thing. What I have with you...it's everything."

The elevator bell rang, the doors opened, and she walked through them backward, pulling him with her. "Yeah," she nodded. "It is." She turned, dropping his right hand but still clutching his left, walking with him through the lobby. For the first time in days, they were silent. But right now, words weren't needed. The way they held onto each other spoke louder than anything.

They pushed their way through the glass doors of the precinct, the cold night wind rushing around them, and he took a deep breath. "It's gonna snow."

"Probably," she said with a laugh. She slapped him playfully in the chest and said, "It's winter." She winked at him, and as they walked toward his car, she asked, "Do you think there's something going on with Munch and Jeffries?"

"What? No!" he almost choked. "What the hell...he's old enough to be her father!" He raised his brows. "He's even old enough to be my father!" He laughed and disarmed the car alarm, and then held the passenger door open for her. Once he saw she was buckled in and comfortable, he shut the door, ran around the car, and got into the driver's seat. "What makes you think there is something going on with them?" he asked, hooking his own seat belt.

She bit her lip as she watched him turn the key, and her eyes traveled up to his carved jawline, his perfect lips, as she said, "You heard them, didn't you? Every time they talk to each other, it's insult after insult and crude jokes. The way they go at each other, the jabs and the snide remarks. When they were interrogating Pruitt? They sounded like..."

"Us," he laughed, nodding. "With them, baby, it comes from an entirely different place. We have this incredible tension...for obvious reasons. Munch and Jeffries...I honestly think they hate each other sometimes." He let out a breath and reached across the console for her hand. He gripped it, and then linked their fingers. "There is not a single, solitary cell in my body that could ever even think of hating you."

"Thank God for that," she chuckled, her thumb swiping along the side of his hand. "You know, I'm here. No matter what...no matter what happens with Kathy, I'm here for you, and anything you need from me, I'm..."

"Baby, I know," he said on a breath. "Trust me, if I didn't know that...I'd be completely fucking fucked." He squeezed her hand tighter and turned down a narrow road, taking a detour to his new place. "This weekend we should go grab some more of your stuff." He eyed her, waiting for a reaction. "Not...not a lot, I know...you're not moving in with me, but you're gonna need more than what you have, especially if we're spending two weeks a month..."

"So, what, we have joint custody of my apartment now?" she laughed.

He returned her small chuckle and said, "Well, we can stay at your place when we're not with the kids, right? It's the only way even holding onto the place makes any sense. Well, that and...on the rare occasion we want to spend a night apart..."

"You really think, now, I could spend a night alone?" she raised an eyebrow at him.

He smirked and brought her hand toward his lips, kissing each finger individually before dropping a soft peck to the back of her hand. "I can't either." He turned the wheel with his free hand. "God, I don't think I would be able to fall asleep without you in my arms anymore."

"I don't even want to know what I would wake up like," she laughed. "You've ruined me." She gave him a loving look and squeezed his hand again. "But you've made me so much better. You've made everything so much better."

"Are you happy?" he asked, serious.

She stared at him blankly, then turned to look out the windshield. "With you? Yes. Very. I'm not...I'm not happy with how it happened, or with what we're dealing with now, but I am...happier than I have ever been."

He pulled into his driveway, parked, and said, "Baby, I don't feel guilty." He looked at her, seeing her eyes widen. "I'm serious. I don't. How can I feel guilty about something that's making our lives so much fucking better." He unhooked his seat belt, leaned over the console, and kissed her deeply, clutching the sides of her face. He moaned, trying to tell her with his kiss how much he meant every word. Before he pulled away completely, he licked the seam of her lips lightly, grinning slyly as he felt her shiver in response. "We deserve to be happy. You know that."

She nodded, reached up, and brushed her thumb over his lips. "I know, we do."

He smiled at her, kissed her again, and rested his hand on the handle of his door. "Baby, after everything we've been through, we're entitled."

 ** _Peace and Love_**

 ** _Jo_**

 ** _MarchCommaJo on Twitter_**


	16. Chapter 16

**_Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction._**

"I am so fucking glad that's over," Elliot grumbled, pulling off his coat and hanging in on the hook by the door. He looked around the living room, sighing. the Christmas decorations had long ago been put away, and the walls, to him, looked blank and cold. He was used to having family portraits lining the halls and filling empty space, but Kathy had taken most of them, and he stored the rest of them in a box which was now gathering dust in the attic. He shook his head and took another deep breath, and then glanced across the room at Olivia, who was making herself a cup of coffee in the kitchen. The sight made him smile as he realized something. New pictures would be taken, soon, ones that would truly make this house a home. "You okay?"

"Fine," she said, sipping from her mug as she balanced another in her other hand. She walked back into the living room, meeting him by the couch and handing him one hot cup. "Here," she said, and she sat, kicking her feet up onto the coffee table. "Happy Valentine's Day, by the way."

He narrowed his eyes as he took a seat beside her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and kissed her temple. "What?"

"Valentine's Day," she said, sighing. "It was Monday," she told him, and then she shuddered. "Wasn't exactly romantic."

He laughed. "No, definitely not," he replied, his fingers tugging lightly at her hair. He sipped his coffee and let out a slow breath. "Nothing about this case was easy."

"That poor woman," she whispered. "She was somebody's mother, somebody's grandmother." She shook her head. "And she gets robbed, raped, and killed in less than twenty-four hours, two separate violations, I just...what goes through their heads?"

"The third guy wasn't mentally sane, baby," he whispered. "It's not an excuse, but he didn't exactly know what he was doing...or that it was wrong." He sipped his coffee again, curled his fingers deeper into her hair. "Can we not...I want to leave work at work, tonight, please?" He sighed, scooted closer to her, and said, "Kids'll be here next week."

"Good, I know how much you miss them," she said, a small smile on her face. "You want me to stay at my place, then?" she raised an eyebrow.

He let his head fall to one side and shot her a sharp look. "Don't even fucking joke," he said, shaking his head. "We stayed there every night this week, except tonight, and I've already told you, I can't..."

"They were aggravated," she interrupted. "The last time they were here, they kept asking you why I was still around." She rolled a few kinks out of her neck and downed the rest of her coffee, part of her wishing it was whiskey. "Christmas, they were with Kathy, so it didn't really matter. New Year's Eve, they understood, but they expected me to be gone in the morning. Shit, for the rest of those two weeks...I heard them, okay? Maureen kept asking you when I was leaving, and if Dickie would've asked one more time if I was gonna be his new mommy..." she paused. "They're not okay with this. It's way too soon. At least, to them." She bit her lip, and looked away. "They don't know..."

"I'm not hiding this from my kids," he spat, cutting her off. He plopped his coffee mug, still half-full, on the table next to hers. "They have to get used to this, and if they ask, I'm gonna be honest with them. Did you hear me answer them, huh? Did you hear me when I talked to them?" He narrowed his eyes and spoke with deliberate clarity. "I told Maureen you weren't leaving, not unless you wanted to, which, I told her, I was praying you never would. I told Dickie that, yeah, eventually, you would be his new mommy. That I wanted you to be. Didn't fucking hear any of that, I guess." He gave her a slightly irritated and disbelieving smile. "You have fucking selective hearing."

She blinked at him. "I heard you, I just...I heard what they said back, too." Her voice was softer, lower. She got off the couch, grabbed both mugs, and headed into the kitchen. She knew he was following her. Without looking back at him, she said, "I don't want to rip your family apart anymore than I already have."

He grabbed her by the arm and spun her around, causing her to drop one of the mugs. It shattered at his feet but he seemed wholly unconcerned. "Listen to me," he said, bending down slightly to appear more seriously threatening. "You didn't rip apart anything. My marriage was half-way to shit before I met you. Falling in love with you...just gave me a real reason to end it. You and me, this is serious. What is gonna take for you to believe that?" He curled his other hand around her waist and gave her a soft push backward, stopping only when she was sandwiched between his body and the marble counter behind her.

"I never said I didn't, I just know what this looks like to..." she was silenced by his finger on her lips.

He pressed further into her, swiping his fingertip along the seam of her closed mouth. "I gave up caring what this looked like to other people a long time ago. I know half the NYPD knows I was cheating on Kathy, they know it was with you. Cragen suspects, so yeah, we have to be careful around him, but my kids? They...they don't know how or when it started, but they know it's permanent. You know how much they love you. And whether you know it or not, it's not that big of a shock to them." He let his finger fall away from her mouth, trailing slowly down her chin and neck.

"Maybe not," she looked downward, her eyes trained on his chest, rising and falling with his heavy breath. Her own fingers began to travel over the bulges of his muscles. "But I'm sure they'd rather you work things out with..."

"Finish that sentence, Benson," he said, his voice gravelly. "I dare you." He watched her face twist into a surprised expression, and when her eyes met his, he crashed his lips into hers.

With a grunt, he lifted her off of the floor and moved forward, settling her down on the counter. He nipped at her lips, soft growls escaping as he kissed her hard. His hands moved seemingly on their own, prying away her layers of clothes. Buttons snapped apart, he heard her moan, and he chuckled. "Tell me," he demanded, kissing her again as his hands worked her pants around her hips. He pulled and tugged, laughing again as he felt her shift her weight in an effort to help him take them off. "Tell me, baby," he repeated, as his hands left her body to pull at his own clothes. "You know. Say it." He unbuckled his belt and ripped his pants down nonchalantly. With an evil smile, he bent his head.

She gasped when he sank his teeth into her neck, her arms flying around his back. "Oh, God," she whimpered, her eyes rolling back. Her nails dug into him, clawing into his skin. "I know."

He heard the soft plops as clothes fell away, his shirt landing on top of the pants pooled at his feet. One hand stayed hooked around her neck, holding her still as he suckled at her pulse. The other curled around his dick, stroked and squeezed, readying himself. He heard her moan again, a lower, more sultry sound, and he knew she was watching. Still latched against her throbbing neck, he jerked in longer, slower strokes, knowing he was teasing her. He kissed her lower, crossed her collar bone, traveled down her chest, and licked small circles around her left nipple before taking the beaded bud into his mouth entirely.

Her hands froze, curving inward and sinking deeper into the flesh at his back. "Fuck," she seethed, her head falling backward. "Elliot."

Another low, dark laugh fell from his working lips and he let go of his now-pulsing cock. He moved closer to her, skimmed his fingertips along her sides and rested his hands at her hips, lining himself up with her. He let her nipple pop out of his mouth, licked his lips, pressed them together, and pulled lightly on his lover's hair. "Look at me," he ordered.

Her eyes rolled toward him as her head lifted. She bit her lip as she met his lustful gaze, knowing what was coming. Her eyes remained focused on his, but her mouth fell open and a high whimpering cry of his name flew out of it when he thrust hard and filled her completely. She dropped her head forward and scraped her teeth along the thin skin of his neck as he began to move, fast and hard, into and out of her, over and over.

"Fuck," he mumbled, "Fuck, Liv." He hit into her harder, his hands holding her body still on the counter as he slammed into her. "You always feel so fucking incredible." He moved his hands up, skimmed them around to the front of her body, and squeezed her nipples between his fingers. He twisted, pulled, watching her face contort in pleasure. He smirked as he bucked his hips, rocking into her. He let out a small growl and bared his teeth as he lunged forward and assaulted her mouth with his, one hand giving up her nipple to wind around her neck.

She slid forward, closer to the edge of the counter, hooking her feet around his working body. She linked her ankles and tugged him closer, forcing him deeper into her. Her arms flew around his neck and she kissed him back with an incredible insistence. Her mind was going blank, she was beginning to see stars. She felt her body giving out, tensing up, and his name left her lips with solemnity, more than once.

He caught her cries with his kiss, his thrusts becoming increasingly more strenuous as he tried to pull and push through her clenching walls. "Fuck," he hissed, fighting the vice-grip that was holding him. "God, baby."

"Oh, God, Elliot," she moaned, and she surrendered. Every muscle twitched, and when he thrust into her again, she let out a loud, almost feral, growling cry of his name.

He slammed into her hard, one final time, stilling when he hit to the hilt, flesh and bone kissing. He held her, pulling her close to him. He peppered her with kisses as he clutched her, firing hotly into her and feeling her tremble against and around him. He felt himself throb and pulse, spitting and shooting off, claiming her. "Oh, God," he grunted, giving one final, almost painful thrust, as if ending a sentence with an exclamation point.

Panting, she lightly raked her nails up and down his back, slick with a sheen of sweat, and his muscles twitched beneath her fingers. "Elliot," she whispered, "Baby, Jesus, what brought that on?"

He kissed her damp forehead, brushed her hair back, and told her, "How could you ever think I would ask you to...hide this from my kids." He kissed her cheeks, and then her lips, and he said, "I don't give a rat's ass who knows. I'm not giving you up. Ever. This is...you're it for me. You have to know that. Feel it."

She nodded into his chest, kissing the dip between his pecs. "I do, I just can't help feeling that...somehow I'm like the third wheel in your life. Your job, your kids...I'm..."

"No, no," he laughed. "My silly girl, you've got that backwards. It's you and my kids, before anything else. Nothing else even comes close." He kissed her lips and wrapped his arms around her, gripping her tight and pulled her off of the counter. Carefully avoiding the broken ceramic on the ground, he'd worry about that later. Still buried in her, he moaned as he moved and carried her out of the kitchen and then toward the bedroom.

She nestled herself into him as he held her tight, dropping kissed to his neck and shoulder, feeling him begin to twitch inside of her again. She let out a soft groan, and then she laughed, feeling him leap onto the bed with her.

He growled and playfully kissed and bit every inch of bare skin, and when her laughter hit his ears, his heart swelled. It was his favorite sound in the world, next to the sound of her voice as she told him she loved him. He stopped kissing her, stopped laughing, stopped moving, suddenly needing desperately to hear exactly that. He looked down at her, into her eyes, and as he started thrusting slowly, he whispered, "I love you."

She smiled up at him, holding back the moans he was building up in her, and she kissed him, whispering, "I love you, too."

 ** _Peace and Love_**

 ** _Jo_**

 ** _MarchCommaJo on Twitter_**


	17. Chapter 17

_**Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction.**_

Misleader

"How does that happen?" Elliot asked out loud, a beer in his hand, as he laid on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. His other hand was twisted in Olivia's hair, her head on his chest. They'd spent the half-hour they'd been at his place going over their most recent case, one that had finally come to a close, but yet still bothered both of them for a reason that, until now, had been left unspoken. He took a sip of his beer, careful not to spill any on her or himself, and he shook his head. "I really can't understand it. What kind of father, or father-in-law for that matter, would do something so fucking..." he coughed and took another sip of his beer. After he swallowed, he said, "I swear, in twenty years, I'm not going to look at Dickie's wife and think, 'I wanna tap that."

Olivia chuckled. "Well, thank God for small favors." She turned her eyes up at him and ran her fingers up and down his chest. "And, uh, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be right here, with you, in twenty years, and I'm going to make sure you won't need to look at anyone else for anything."

"Oh, baby, never," he laughed, kissing her forehead. "I can't take my eyes off of you, you know that. And you are the only one I want to, uh, tap." He wagged his brows and kissed her again, this time on her lips. He raised his beer to his mouth, taking the last sip, and reached over to set it down on the coffee table. "For the rest of my life."

She shifted her weight, rolling more fully on top of him. "Really, that long?"

"Longer," he said, pulling lightly on her hair as he twirled it around his fingers. He moved a bit, allowing her to settle more firmly against him. He looked into her eyes, seeing a glimmer in them, and he said, "This is going to sound cliche, and I know, given our, uh, situation, that you may not believe me, but...I've never felt the way I feel when I'm with you. Even with Kathy...that was a marriage of necessity, and I loved her, but...I'm in love with you. Everything I have, everything I am, it's all yours now. Fuck, it's been yours, for a long time."

"Where did..." she started, her bottom lip trembling slightly. "Wow," it was a whisper, and then she asked him, with tears in her sparkling eyes. "Where did that come from?"

He kissed her softly, sweeping his hands down her back and resting them on the rounds of her ass. "I don't want you to think this is temporary, or that I'm some kind of misleader. When I say things like, 'Oh, when we get married...' or 'When we have kids...' I mean it. We're getting married, we're having kids, and the woman I want to spend a hundred eternities with, is you."

Left speechless by his words, she felt her heart swell and thump against her chest. "El, I...are you..."

"Not tomorrow," he said, cutting her off. "Not in a month, maybe not even in a year, but it's happening. All of it." He shook his head slightly as he stared into her brown eyes. He took a deep breath and said. "When I said I was your partner, for life, I meant...in every possible way. At work, in the field, at home, in bed..." He slipped his hands upward, leaving a trail of goose bumps on her skin as they moved. He pulled her shirt up with them, letting his fingertips graze the bare skin of her back. He grinned as he toyed with the clasp of her bra. "...on the couch," he teased, and then he lifted his head a bit to kiss her.

She moaned, her hands gripping his shoulders and pressing him down. Still shaken by his words, and the truth she'd seen in his eyes as he said them, made her more certain now than ever before that he truly was the only man she'd ever really, deeply loved. He would be the only man, for the rest of her life, and she fought like hell to tell him that with her kiss. She rocked her hips, making him groan, and scraped her fingers down his chest, curling them around the hem of his tee shirt. "Elliot," she whispered, tugging on the cotton. "El, please..."

With a grunt, he shifted his weight, sitting up a bit to allow her to yank the shirt over his head. He fell back down with a 'hmph' and eagerly grappled with the bra he'd been snapping at. Feeling the clasp give, he chuckled, and then pulled it away from her skin along with her shirt. He tossed it to the floor, letting it mingle with his.

She smiled at him as her hands moved lower, to the middle of his body. She bit her bottom lip and flushed slightly as she unbuckled his belt and pulled the leather strap through the denim loops of his jeans. She gasped, it was caught by her closed mouth, as he lightly spread his palms over her breasts, brushing over her nipples. When he closed his fingers around them and pinched, tugged, and twisted, her head fell back and her mouth fell open, letting a long, low moan escape.

He grunted, bucking his hips upward. The sight of her turned him on, no matter where or when, but when he had her like this, knowing he was causing her pleasure, it made his temperature rise, his blood flow fast and hot, and he needed desperately to bury himself inside of her. He rolled her nipples between his fingers again, this time watching her head pop back up. He saw the way her eyes darkened and the smirk on her face was wonton and seductive as she dragged the brass zipper of his blue jeans down.

She laughed when he raised his hips for her and shoved his pants over his hips. He shuffled around underneath her to work them off and kicked them, tossing them away. Raising an eyebrow at him, she licked her lips and said, "Okay, G.I. Joe."

He let out a loud chuckle at her commando quip, but his face contorted into a more serious expression when he felt her hand wrap around his freed cock. "Oh, fuck, Liv," he huffed, squeezing his eyes shut. He worked his hands into the waistband of her pants as she stroked him and whimpered as she shimmied out of them, her body thrusting into his as she did it. "Baby," he whispered, rolling tension out of his neck in a grave effort to stave off his orgasm. He opened his eyes and held her gaze, wrapping his hands around her hips and moving her body right over his.

She swallowed and took a breath, and then moved his cock into place. With a soft, "I love you," she eased over him, taking him into her. Her eyes fluttered shut and her head lolled forward, falling against his. "I love you so much."

"I love you," he told her, and he began to move her, lifting her up and settling her down, his hips rising up at the same time. The sound of their meeting skin and breathy moans filled the air around them, the only noises that passed between them. He arched his head and kissed her deeply, mumbling something against her lips as one of his hands came to hold the back of her head in place. He wasn't letting her pull away.

There was nothing misleading about any of this, and they both knew it. She bit his lip, tugging teasingly, and they shared a laugh as they sped up, knowing the pressure was building faster than either wanted. "El," she whimpered, feeling her calves begin to tighten.

He felt a fire ignite in his belly, his muscles began to twitch and stomach clench, and he knew that he was going to lose it. "Baby," he grumbled, his jaw tight as he continued to kiss her. His hand fisted her hair and pulled just a bit, making her moan louder. He worked harder, faster, thrusting upward and slamming her body down into his with his other hand. He knew he was leaving small round marks on her hip, his fingerprints burning into her skin, but he knew she didn't mind. She'd marked him, too, and he wore those battle wounds proudly.

She kissed him with more ferocity as her body began to tighten and tremble. She felt his hand move a little to the right and her eyes shot open wider. "Oh, fuck, Elliot!" she cried, her mouth still pressed against his.

He rubbed his thumb over her clit again, vigorously, with every thrust he gave her. "Come on, baby," he mumbled, determined. He gave her hair another tug, knowing how it spurred her on, and he put more pressure on her clit. He felt her clenching around him, squeezing his cock and making it harder to thrust. He chuckled victoriously and slammed up into her twice more, before she locked him in and screamed his name into his mouth.

She shivered against him, writhing and rolling her body in waves over him. "Oh, God," she cried, over and over, and she smoothed her hands down over his chest and stomach, scratching lightly with her nails. She felt his body convulse, heard the soft grunts and jabbing moans of her name coming from him as she kissed him, and knowing he was cumming for her, because of her, inside of her, made her body heat up again. "Oh, my God, Elliot," her voice broke, a bit higher and hoarse, as a second wave washed over her.

"Fuck," he spat, feeling her clench again, his sensitive cock pulsed and twitched inside of her as she rode out the evanescent bliss. They calmed, still kissing, as their hot, slick bodies and pounding hearts seemed to melt together. He loosened his grip on the tuft of hair in his hand and he played with it, curling it around his fingers and raking through it. "I love you," he panted, blinking quickly, hoping his blurred vision would clear so he could see her face. "God, I fucking love you."

She laughed softly, dropped a kiss to his chest, one to his chin, and then one to his lips. "And I love you, Stabler," she told him. She grazed her fingertips along his body until they met his hands, and she linked their fingers together and gave a good squeeze, setting down against him.

They lay there, still trembling and jerking with small, short aftershocks. Kisses muffled their moans, and laughs broke through tension. Once their hearts slowed to a normal pulse, and their lungs resumed proper function, a loud, shrill song cut through the tranquility.

"God, damn it to hell," he said, his voice laced with the remains of lust and exhaustion. He slapped his lover's ass, making her move away from him, and he immediately missed the warmth of her body as he searched the carpet for his cell phone. Finding it, he huffed and answered. "Stabler," he said, reaching out a hand and swiping his thumb over one of Olivia's still-beaded nipples. He chuckled softly as he watched her shiver, heard the small gasp, and looked into her beckoning eyes. He wanted her, again, still, always. "Yeah," he said into the phone, dropping his hand away from her and bending over to grab his jeans. "I'll get her. Yeah. Okay. Thanks."

"We got called in? Are you serious? Now? Why?" she asked him, a series of questions in rapid, frustrated succession.

He laughed at her childlike whining as he tossed her clothes to her. "Munch and Jeffries caught a case, Cragen's on a rampage because mandatory evals are coming up, and our paperwork is piled up to the fucking ceiling. Someone has to be in the house, and he wants us to use the time to deal with the 'Fives."

"Baby," she complained, closing her eyes, "How the fuck are we supposed to stay awake now? That was...I mean, fuck, I still can't feel my legs."

He smiled and leaned over to her, kissed her softly, languidly, letting his tongue linger over hers before swiping and dancing with hers. It lasted for a long moment before he pulled away. "I'll buy you a cup of coffee." He pulled his shirt on and stood up, smirking. He knew exactly where her eyes were heading.

Licking her lips, staring at his ass, she chuckled. "Promise?"

He turned to her as he zipped up his jeans and ran a hand through his short hair. "Baby," he said, "Would I ever mislead you?" He winked at her, held his hand out, and pulled her to her feet. He watched her put her clothes back on and smiled contently at her. He'd give her whatever she needed, whatever she wanted. Coffee, he knew, was only the beginning.

 ** _Peace and Love_**

 ** _Jo_**

 ** _MarchCommaJo on Twitter_**


	18. Chapter 18

_**Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction.**_

Chat Room

"Relax," Olivia said, her voice low, but stern. Her hands were on Elliot's shoulders, rubbing and squeezing, trying to work out the severe tension he was so obviously holding. "You're gonna lose it, piss off Cragen even more than you already have, and neither one of us needs that, right now. Breathe. Please?"

He moaned and let his head fall back, her ministrations making him weak and malleable. "I'm trying," he said through gritted teeth, his nostrils flaring. "I've been trying." He balled his fists together and cracked his knuckles, one by one.

She cringed as she heard each soft pop, and she squeezed his shoulders harder. Knotting her fingers, she dug and pushed into his tight muscles. "You snapped at him," she said, sighing. "He was ready to bench you." Her hands moved lower, twisting into the curve just above his ass.

"God, you keep it up and he'll have another reason to bench both of us," he told her, another moan escaping as she worked out a knot in the middle of his back.

"I know how you get when children are involved," she spoke. "And I know this hits a little too close to home, because it could happen to one of your kids, but you have got to be able to separate..."

"I know!" he barked, his eyes popping open. "Sorry, I didn't mean to...you didn't deserve that." He let out a noise that sounded like a purring cat as her hands moved all the way back up his spine, over his neck, and around to his temples. He felt her start to rub, his eyes closed, and the weight of the world seemed to fly off of his shoulders. "He deserved it, you know."

"Yeah," she breathed, leaning lower and moving closer to him. She kissed his cheek and then whispered into his ear, "I know."

He turned fast, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her hard. He fell backward, pulling her with him, and they toppled onto the lumpy mattress behind them.

She laughed as she swatted his roaming hands away from her chest and righted herself. "I'm trying to calm you down!"

He shrugged, smirking at her. "What better way to calm me down than to thoroughly exhaust me? You know, uh, sex is the best way to relieve tension." He winked and tugged on her arm, playfully.

"Not. At. Work." She punctuated every word with a soft kiss before sitting on the edge of the bed. She took his hand, though, and began to massage his fingers and palm. "The two of you are like oil and water, and when you're both pissed, it's like a tornado meeting a volcano."

He bit the inside of his cheek. "I'm the volcano, right?"

She grinned at him. "Yeah, you're hot." She gave him a wink, but then turned down her eyes again. "You scared me, for a minute there. Usually, you can rein it in, but tonight you...you lost it."

He licked his lips and nodded and looked up at the crib room ceiling. "I just couldn't get the thought out of my mind, what if the girl he was talking to in that chat room was Katie? Or Maureen, or, Jesus Christ, Lizzie."

"It wasn't." She looked into his eyes and gave him a serious glare, linking her fingers with his. "And it would never be, because you raised your girls to know..."

"How could anyone know!" he spat, scoffing. "Fuck, it's just words on a screen! You don't know who's on the other end, if they're lying to you. Hell, it's a fucking game of Russian Roulette every time you log onto the computer!"

She raised one eyebrow. "You done?" she asked, exasperated. "I was going to say, you raised your kids to know to trust their gut, and because of you, those instincts are usually spot on. They know they shouldn't talk to people they don't know, never give out their name, address, or personal details, and you have more privacy locks and filters on your computer than my bank does, thanks to Morales."

He let out a long, slow breath through tightly puckered lips, rolling his shoulders. "You're right," he admitted. "I guess...the divorce, the custody arrangements..." he shook his head and tried to take a deeper breath. "I'm not there every minute of every day to protect them, and maybe I'm not handling this as well as I thought I would. I can't..." he choked back a sob, coughing instead. He looked at Olivia, pain in his blue eyes, and he tried to stop his bottom lip from quivering as he said, "I promised myself, and my kids, that I wouldn't turn into my father." He closed his eyes, one single tear rolling out of the corner of his left one. "I swore that I would be there, that I would be...everything they needed. I'm not perfect, shit, I know that, but I..."

"Hey, hey," she interrupted, pulling him into her and wrapping him up in her arms. "What's going on, huh? Where's this coming from?" She gasped then. "Did something happen to one of..."

"No," he said, stopping her. "But what if it did? What if it did and I wasn't there?"

She scratched lightly at the nape of his neck, something she knew calmed him down most of the time. "Do you want..." she stopped short, the words breaking her heart as soon as they formed in her mind, stinging as they built on her tongue. "Do you want to go home? Do you want to go back to Kathy, so you don't have to worry?"

He snapped his head up so fast, a crackling sound ripped through the room. "Fuck, no! I just...this case made me realize that I can't be left out of half their lives. I called my lawyer, and I know there's no chance of me getting full custody, but I'm fighting for a full disclosure clause in our agreement. She needs me to sign off on field trips, or anything else that happens at school. If she wants to take them away for the weekend I need to fucking know about it first. I'm not going to become a part-time father, and I'll be damned if she thinks she can make me into one." He blinked once, still looking at Olivia, and then cupped her face and moved closer, kissing her slowly, letting the dregs of his tension seep out through his tongue and dissolve with the heat of her mouth. He pulled away, brushed his nose against hers, and said, "I am never leaving you, do you understand me? Never. That's...that's another promise I intend to keep."

She nodded, breathless, and brushed away the tear hanging onto the edge of his chin for dear life. "I love you," she said.

"God, I love you, too." He kissed her once again, and was just about to try to change her mind about getting more personal at work, when there was a knock on the door, making him jump back a full two feet.

Jeffries opened the door, an apologetic smile on her face. "I, uh, I don't want to interrupt, I know how he gets after a good fight, but..." she sighed, looked at Elliot, and then looked at Olivia. "Cragen's looking for you. He's not happy, and you got a complaining vic waiting for you by your desks."

Elliot rubbed his eyes as he stood up, and he eyed Olivia as she moved, rising to her feet. He gave her a sheepish smile, scratching the back of his head. His way of telling her he was sorry. "Back to work," he said.

"Seems like it," she replied, following him out of the bunk room and down the stairs. She stopped half-way, though. She slowly turned and looked back at the crib's metal door, smiling. Memories surged through her, and she realized just how much of her relationship with Elliot was built within those walls. That was a real chat room, she thought, and she was truly thankful for it.

 ** _Peace and Love_**

 ** _Jo_**

 ** _MarchCommaJo on Twitter_**


	19. Chapter 19

**_Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction._**

 **Contact (With a Twist)**

"You look a lot better," Olivia said, sipping her coffee. "You got some color back in your face and your voice sounds less like Kermit the Frog than it did this morning."

Elliot scoffed. "Thanks," he said, playfully offended. "That woman...the second she grabbed my hand, it was like...poof! My cold was gone."

She smiled. "Good," she said with a single nod. "I hate when you're sick."

"Do you?" he asked, though there was an arrogant smirk on his face. He brought his own coffee cup to his lips and narrowed his eyes at her as he sipped it.

She nodded. "I don't like knowing you're hurt, or uncomfortable, or sick...and there's nothing I can do...well, not much."

"You did plenty, Nurse Benson," he said in a low, seductive voice. He winked at her and set back to his paperwork. His expression changed, almost instantaneously, as he scrawled his name at the bottom of a page, a report on their closed case. "Did I tell you that I didn't like the way that reporter guy was looking at you?" he asked through gritted teeth, his voice still low, as he struggled to finish reading the next bit of information.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You don't like the way my dentist looks at me," she teased. "Are you almost done, slow poke? I'd like to get home, and out of these clothes."

He looked at her and smirked. "Oh, I want you out of those clothes, too, believe me." He licked his lips and shifted in his seat, another part of his body agreeing that she should, in fact, get naked. He opened his mouth to say something when the captain's office door opened and his voice boomed.

"Two days," Cragen said, pointing at Jeffries. "You're lucky that's all this is." He shook his head and narrowed his eyes at the dejected detective. "You crossed a line, and you know it."

"If it was Benson, you wouldn't suspend her," Jeffries countered, her own anger and dismay bubbling. She winced as the words left her mouth, knowing she shouldn't have said it.

Cragen simply smiled. "Well, Benson wouldn't be in your situation." He put a hand on her shoulder, then, and said, "As your captain, I'm pissed, but as your friend, I'm worried. What he said to you..."

"Forget it," Jeffries said, cutting him off and looking down. "I know there are guys like that out there, that are...curious about this job, intrigued by the shit we see and what we deal with," she blinked once and looked back up. "And yeah, maybe I should have known better than to trust a reporter, but I swear, he took that file without my..."

"I know," Cragen said, taking his turn to interrupt. "But you shouldn't have brought any of those files home with you in the first place. That's where this gets more about your job and less about your personal life." He paused. "Most cops...they can't separate the two, no matter how hard they try. I need the people in this unit to break that habit."

Jeffries nodded, rubbed her eyes, and then asked, "What happened with him, anyway? Ganzner?"

Cragen smirked almost proudly. "Benson and Stabler paid him a little visit. She put him in his place and he threatened his life." He laughed and shook his head. "Two days, and then we forget this ever happened, clear?"

"Crystal," Jeffries said. She turned and walked out of the squad room, not bothering to say goodbye to Olivia or Elliot.

Cragen saw the stunned look that Elliot gave to Olivia and he said, to both of them, "She had a rough couple of days. Don't fault her for not being the friendliest person right now."

Elliot turned in his rolling chair and looked at Cragen. "I don't blame her for asking the guy back to her apartment. Everyone needs a little human contact, but...you don't think this is the start of a more serious issue, do you?"

"What do you mean?" Cragen asked, stepping closer to the pair of detectives in front of him. He let his eyes run over their desks, surprised to see most of the paperwork done. He looked back up at Elliot with a questioning glare.

Clearing his throat, Elliot shot Olivia a glance and then said, "We, uh...well, Jeffries..." he took a breath. "This isn't the first time she hooked up with someone who was involved in an investigation."

"Hooked up?" Olivia chuckled. "You've been spending too much time with your kids and their friends."

"Well, who's fault is that, Little Miss Party-Planner?" Elliot retorted. "You host these elaborate sleepovers for them every weekend, I'm bound to pick up some of the..."

Cragen blinked twice and shook his head quickly. "I'm going to pretend I did not hearing that conversation," he said, holding up a hand. "And to answer your question, I know. I'm aware of what goes on in the lives of my detectives, whether you two like to believe that or not." He gave each of them a pointed look. "This isn't the first time she got involved with a person-of-interest, but it is the first time it directly compromised the case. I'm praying that it's the last." He let a small grin play at the corners of his lips and said, "At least I know I have two detectives that can pretty much guarantee that's never gonna happen to them, right?"

Olivia paled, looked at Elliot with wide eyes, and said, "Uh, yeah. Right."

Cragen laughed at her embarrassed expression, turned on his heels, and headed back for his office. "Finish that last 'Five, and go the hell home." He looked over his shoulder. "You both could use a little human contact of your own." He walked into his office and closed his door.

"He knows," Elliot said, his jaw slacked and his eyes frozen in wide astonishment, "He knows, and he..." he turned his head in Olivia's direction and furrowed his brow. "Did he just tell us to go home and..."

"Come on," she said, cutting him off. She picked up her coffee, gulping down the last sip of her coffee and throwing out the cup. "He's mad enough at Jeffries, so I really don't want to defy a direct order, do you?"

He grinned with slit-like eyes and got out of his seat. He grabbed his jacket, and then grabbed her hand, pulling her out of the room and into the hall. The moment they were away from any onlooking eyes, he gave her hand a yank and clutched the back of her head with his free hand. He held her gaze for a moment, smiling before moving closer, brushing his lips against hers, and finally getting what he'd been craving from her for hours.

Contact.

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Jo**_

 _ **MarchCommaJo on Twitter**_


	20. Chapter 20

**_Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction._**

Remorse

She sat on Elliot's new cushy couch, looking through a scrapbook. She wasn't exactly sure when, during the recent case, she started to think about his kids, but now, she couldn't stop. Her finger skimmed along the page, brushing down the paper cheek of Kathleen, standing with a smile holding a soccer trophy. She smiled, almost sadly, and two years of unexpressed remorse began to surface. Guilt over being brazen enough, or was it weak enough, to sleep with another woman's husband. Terrible grief caused by being the reason the children in the pictures at her fingertips had to bounce across town every two weeks. Most of all, she felt guilty because she did not regret a single moment, not one second of the sinful and salacious affair.

She flipped the page and her smile broadened, the photo staring up at her was one that held a place in her heart. She traced Elliot's sharp jawline, chuckling as she remembered the day so clearly, one of the first days she spent with him and the kids, alone, at Madame Tussaud's. She grazed her finger over the image of the giant wax dinosaur as the look of feigned terror on their faces made her laugh.

"I love that sound," his voice from behind her broke the silence, his arms swooped around from the back to loop around her neck, and he pressed his lips to very top of her head. "What are you doing out here?"

She shrugged. "Couldn't sleep," she said, feeling him pull away from her. She missed his warmth immediately, and with a sigh, she closed the scrapbook and put it down on the coffee table.

He wasn't going to keep her cold for long; he walked around to the front of the sofa and sat next to her, pulled her into his arms, and tugged the knitted throw-blanket over them. "Why not?" he asked, whispering hotly into her ear.

Intense shivers ran down her spine, she moaned his name softly and curled deeper into him, and then said, "I can't help feeling..."

"Guilty," he finished for her, almost scoffing. "I see it in your eyes." He kissed her temple. "There's no need to. You didn't cause the end of my marriage, Liv. It was already over, but just lying there, slowly suffering, decaying. You came along and gave me a damn good reason to finally put it out of its misery. You gave me everything I thought I was missing, and things I didn't even know could exist between two people."

She smiled and shifted her weight, filling out the space on top of him. "Yeah? Like what?"

He grinned, half-seductive, half-asleep. "For starters, you proved that there really is such a thing as multiple orgasms." He chuckled and kissed her hard on the lips. His hands skimmed down her back and came to rest on her ass. He cupped it lightly and said, "Definitely didn't know that before I had you." He kissed her with a low laugh, but then grew serious as he looked deeper into her eyes. "But more than that...emotionally...you gave me real stability, support, a level of trust that...baby, I didn't know I could trust someone the way I trust you. I know you. Deeply know you. I know what you're thinking, feeling...that kind of connection...I didn't know it was real, until I met you." He narrowed his eyes. "How dare you feel guilty for bringing all of that into my life?"

She rubbed her forehead against his, nuzzling his nose, and whispered, "I don't." She kissed his chin lightly, pecking a long trail up to his lips. After a firm kiss, she said, "I feel guilty for taking that away from Kathy. The kids."

He looked at her pointedly for a moment, and then laughed, a full, hearty, disbelieving laugh. "Baby, you did no such thing." He kissed her again. "Kathy...never had any of that with me. And the kids, well, you gave them a lot more than you ever could have possibly taken away. You have to believe that."

"Part of me does," she said with a small nod. She wriggled against him and settled into him, fitting her body perfectly in the bends and curves of his, like two pieces of a perfect puzzle. There was a moment of comfortable silence, her breathing in time with him as he played with her hair; her head rising and falling with his chest. Finally, after a long breath, she said, "Did you talk to John?"

He made a negating sound and shook his head. "He wasn't really in the mood to talk when we left. He was still pissed."

"Well, yeah," she said, stifling a yawn. "He really took this case to heart. It...she...got to him."

He hummed and let his eyes close. "I can't even really take sides, here. On one hand, Jeffries was right, because he got way too close to the vic, but on the other hand...how could Jeffries have been so cold and dismissive with her?"

"You've been worried about her behavior for weeks," she said to him, her fingers tracing patterns in his chest. "Maybe you were right. Maybe she's losing it, and this just proves that she can't be objective anymore."

"Objectivity isn't the issue," he retorted. "You and I have both had issues, arguing over guilt or innocence, the validity or credibility of a victim, or witness. But this was just...she wouldn't even entertain the possibility she was telling the truth." He hummed for a moment, and then asked her, "You don't still think there's something going on between them, do you? She might have refuted every claim because she was..."

"Jealous?" she finished. "Do you really believe Jeffries has a thing for Munch?"

He laughed. "No, I don't, but...it does make her behavior...make sense." He slid lower, flattening out on the couch, and pulled the blanket tighter around himself and Olivia. "You get nasty when you think someone else is flirting with me."

"I wouldn't compromise a case over it," she scoffed, yawning. "I may kick your ass when we get home, and I might possibly give that poor little girl a concussion, but I would never compromise a case. Or my integrity as a detective. Not over jealousy." She yawned again. "Choosing you over a perp...or a vic, or saving your ass, that's entirely different, and that...that might happen."

He answered her with a nod and gave a yawn of his own, and then looped his thick, strong leg around her body, pressing her tighter against him. "Just don't tell that to the shrink on Friday."

"Shit," she spat. "That's this week?"

"Yeah," he said, rolling them over a bit, making sure they were both comfortable. "We're going to be just fine. We always have been, and always will be." He kissed her again before letting sleep in just a bit more. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered, her mouth half-covered by his chest. She knew she should move, tell him to get up and follow him into the bedroom, and into bed, but she was far too comfortable and too tired to do it. Besides, she knew it was only a matter of moments before they were called into work, into another battle. She heard his heart beat pounding, her ear pressed to his chest, and she knew he was right.

He had done the same for her. He had given her more than any other person in her life ever had. He had shown her what real and true love is, what power trust and devotion could hold, and made her feel so much love, in her heart and her soul. A smile crept over her face as her own breath evened out and deepened, and she whispered once more, "I love you," as she let the last bit of weight fly off of her shoulders.

She loved him, and she didn't need to feel any remorse because of it.

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Jo**_

 _ **MarchCommaJo on Twitter**_


	21. Chapter 21

**_Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction._**

"You gonna talk about it?" He had his lips almost pressed together, his jaw clenched. He swirled a short glass of whiskey in his hand, the ice clinking against the sides breaking the silence.

"Are you?" She returned his question, refilling her own glass. She took a long sip, grimacing as she swallowed.

He sighed, scooted closer to her, and let his left hand fall into her lap. He cupped her knee, smoothing his hand up and down her thigh. "I, uh, I may have told her...I fantasize about killing the bastards we arrest." He raised both brows and sighed, downing the rest of his drink. "Told her how I deal with most of the shit we see at work."

"What did...what did you say?" she asked, grabbing the bottle off the bar and sliding it toward him.

He grabbed it and poured another glass, and then he said, "I told her I hug my kids...and, um, I may have told her there's someone in my life that...helps me escape all of it." He smiled at her.

She scoffed, though. "So now she thinks you use sex as an escape. That's not..."

"No, that's...that's not how it came out. The anger...she asked about my temper, my issues at work controlling my emotions." He shrugged and took a sip of whiskey. "That's not news, it's not surprising, I just...I wish she'd done this whole damn thing on a day we didn't have to deal with a piece of shit like Randolph Morrow." He made an irritated face and drank what was left in his glass. "You okay? He treated you like shit, and i know the way you were looking at Elena..."

"I'm fine," she interrupted, slamming her now-empty glass down. "We deal with misogynistic assholes like Morrow every day, they never get to me."

He slid his hand up a bit higher on her thigh, dipping it toward her heat. "You were already upset because of that evaluation. Your buttons were, uh, easier to push." To drive his point home, he pushed the side of his hand against her, rubbing hard.

She closed her eyes and moaned softly, almost forgetting they were in a crowded bar. "He's a nasty son-of-a-bitch," she said, unsure of how far Elliot would take things. "He pissed you off, too."

"No one talks to you that way," he said, his voice gravelly. He rubbed again, harder, pressing into her deeper. "No one treats you like that and gets away with it."

"Elliot," she warned, one of her hands falling to his wrist. She tried to stop his movements, but he was stronger, more determined. "Jesus," she hissed, closing her eyes again.

He just chuckled, low and deep. "You know, I think that doctor knew exactly who I was talking about when I told her the woman who made all the horrors go away was the only person I trusted, the only woman I ever gave myself to, really...completely. She made me talk about you...how we work together...how much I trust you, and God, when I talked about you, I got this look on my face...this stupid smile...so I'm pretty sure she figured it out."

"Well, that's not good," she laughed, dropping her head to his shoulder and her hand to his lap. If he wanted to play, she'd play. She cupped his semi-hard cock through his pants and ran her palm over him in light strokes. "That's asking for trouble." She squeezed, making him moan.

He cleared his throat, his free hand grabbing the bottle of whiskey. He poured a glass for her and one for himself as he asked, "What did you say to her?"

"Nothing," she said, moaning as his hand worked her into an uncomfortable wetness. "Just answered her questions. Except...God, Elliot," she turned her head and bit his shoulder.

He laughed, mildly evil, and said, "What, baby? Except what?"

"I let her get to me with one," she confessed. "She asked...what I would do if I couldn't be a cop. I lost it. I think...I think I started crying."

He stopped moving his hand, he stopped moving at all, and he kissed her forehead. "Look at me," he said. When she met his worried eyes, he asked, "What did you tell her?"

She exhaled, shaking, and said, "When I finally got my shit together, I told her I honestly didn't know. I said I would maybe be a child advocate, or run a crisis center, and I told her...God, I told her I wanted kids. The woman just finished recounting my horrible reason for even being in the unit in the first place, she brought up my childhood, and my shoddy relationship with my mother...and then I tell her I want kids." She bit her lip and downed her whiskey in one shot. "I think she's going to have me committed."

"Honey," he said softly, pulling her closer to him, "Everyone wants a family. She's not going to think that's an issue."

She grinned at him. "Oh, I, uh, I think she knows who I want them with." She let her lips brush against his. "You came up...a lot."

"Oh, did I?" he questioned, rocking into her hand, which was still splayed over his clothed dick. He heard her growl slightly and he moaned as he captured her lips in a hot kiss. "What about me?" he asked breathlessly.

"I told you," she said, nipping at his lips again as she grabbed his now-fully-hard cock through his pants. "She asked about my family."

He grunted and said, "We really know how to completely screw ourselves over, don't we?"

She smirked and nodded, moving further into him. "Gonna do it again if we don't get out of here."

"Wicked," he whispered against her lips, tugging at her belt-loops. "You are a wicked, wicked woman." Just as he was about to rise and pull her up with him, his cell phone rang. "No," he groaned, "Fucking...not tonight." He shoved his hand into his pocket and practically ripped the phone out of his pants. "Stabler," he spat viciously. He went white, hearing the voice on the other end. "No, uh...no, Cap, nothing like that at all. I promise. You did? She did, huh?" He eyed Olivia, the color in his cheeks returning only slightly. "We...we'll be right there. Um, why us, though? Oh, yeah, we...we did kind of warn..." he paused, gulping. "That was...just us being honest, it doesn't mean...what you think it means." He reached for her hand and knotted it tightly with his. "We're on the way."

"What was that all about?" she asked, watching him tense up again as he put his phone back into his pocket. "Babe?"

"Cragen," he said, pulling her gently toward him. He kissed her quickly and started to guide her through the bar. "He was looking over all of the notes that doctor left him, and he, uh, has a couple things to talk to us about."

"Now?" she asked, her eyes wide. "El, baby, we aren't exactly sober."

"Yeah, I know," he grumbled, pulling her out into the night. He dragged her to the curb and raised a hand. "We'll have to try to smarten up in the taxi, and if we can't we just...fake it."

She smirked and let out a light chuckle. "I don't fake anything with you," she told him, her voice dripping with the remnants of arousal and lust from his actions in the bar.

"You're gonna be the death of me," he said, rolling his eyes and licking his lips. As the yellow cab pulled up to them, he opened the door for her and slid in next to her. He gave the driver the address of the station, and then looked at Olivia and said, "Cragen said...the doctor told him someone in the unit...shouldn't be in the unit anymore."

"Oh, my God," she whispered. That one, single thought was enough to sober her up. "Did he say who?"

Elliot shook his head. "Neither of us, but, uh, I'm pretty sure he really knows about us now, and that's what this little chat is going to be about, but he's not firing us." He took her hand and said, "That whole unit would fall to shit without us, and he knows it." He laughed smugly and ran the pad of his finger over the side of her hand. "And I'm glad he knows. It gets harder and harder to hide this, you know?"

"He wouldn't fire Munch, not when he's close to retirement age," she said, ignoring Elliot's cracks about rubbing their relationship in Cragen's face. "You think...you think it's Jeffries?"

Elliot bit his lip and nodded. "Cragen hinted at it. He wanted to know how we knew something was wrong, and he knew she was close to a meltdown after that shit with that reporter."

She sighed and leaned against him, dropping her head to his shoulder, and she said, "What if he splits us up?"

"He won't," he said, firmly, certain.

"How do you know?" she asked, a bit of fear in her voice. "He's always said we shouldn't get involved with other people in the unit, and he knows damn well that we're closer than..."

"Yeah," he said, cutting her off. "He knows. He's always known, and we're still together. I'm pretty sure a blind man in Calcutta could see the way I look at you, so yeah, he's always fucking known. But baby, we don't have to worry about that, because we haven't let it get in the way of our jobs, it hasn't damaged a victim, a case, or the unit. We may be slaves to each other, in every single way, but from seven-in-the-morning till the case is closed, we're slaves to the job, and he fucking knows that, too."

"That was poetic," she joked.

"It was the truth," he told her. He looked at her for a moment, and then he kissed her deeply and held her tight. "Whatever he asks, I'm going to be honest with him."

She looked up at him and knew, without a doubt, her life was about to change.

 _ **Peace and Love**_

 _ **Jo**_

 _ **MarchCommaJo on Twitter**_


End file.
